The beginning of the end of the beginning

Tonight was my last meeting with Kathryn, before I have my local review meeting. She seemed positive about how I'm getting on, and mentioned that she had positive comment about the sermon I did the other week. Looking back, I'm a whole lot happier at this end of the enquiry process than when I started.

So in a fortnight I'll know if I'm joining my fellow OLM trainees at the selection conference.

Thy will be done, etc...

Don't make stuff up (part 2)

Back in this post I stated that I didn't like a reflection supposedly by Judas after his death, and in the presence of Jesus.  There was something about it I didn't like.  Hated it in fact. I Hated it so much that I had to buy the book to find out exactly why I hated it. 

The book in question is "Milestones" by Hilary Faith Jones, and the story is entitled "After".  It's written from the perspective of Judas, and explores his realisation that he's done something very bad, and is completely alone.  Abandoned and cut off from God.  As alone as anyone can possibly be - he betrayed God's son, so who can save him?

The story is well written, very reflective, and fitted in well with the service the other week.  But there was something made me feel very uncomfortable.  I'm not that keen on stuff being made up.  There's enough good tales in the Bible without us muddying the waters by trying to put words into the mouths of the main characters.

Last night I was at Hillside and also at Friarsgate at their advent services.  At Hillside, there was a couple of dialogues and reflections  that fitted in well with the service.  They were clearly made up, the Nazareth village gossips discussing Mary, for example, but they felt a bit more comfortable in the service.  It was at this point I realised what i didn't like about the Judas reading.  It was too real.


There is a theory in the field of robotics and animation called "Uncanny Valley" which holds that when human replicas look and act almost, but not perfectly, like actual human beings, it causes a response of revulsion among human observers.  And I think this describes my feelings towards"After."  It's too real, and that's what makes it uncomfortable.  We don't know what happened to Judas, or why he did what he did, but the characters in "After" are depicted in such a real way that their actions seem unnatural and uncomfortable, and revulsion was exactly what I felt.

So in a strange sort of doublethink, I actually like the book, and I like it for it's writing, but I can't stand the uncomfortable reality.

But isn't this all about facing some uncomfortable realities.

Annoyed.

There are certain things I'm supposed to do.  Meeting B should follow shortly after meeting A, and at meeting B we decide when meeting C should take place.  This should be 3 weeks before meeting D.  The date of meeting D will be decided at meeting A.  Except in my case, meeting A hasn't taken place.  Meeting B has taken place, and a rough time for meeting C has been set, to allow time for meeting D to take place some time after.  I had to make apologies at meeting B for the fact that meeting A hadn't taken place, and that I would be in contact to confirm the date of meetings C and D just as soon as I know when that is.

Now today I was told that person X, without whom meetings A and D can't take place, hasn't yet been appointed by presbytery.  And if things go to plan, they won't be appointed until at least the 22nd.  22nd November is a Tuesday, but looking ahead at  my diary, the rest of that week is starting to fill up, so it will be the following week before anything can happen.  To her credit, Kathryn said she would try to move things along.  The point is that she shouldn't have to.  X is supposed to be someone that I can turn to for advice, but it is looking like I will be a fair way into the process before I know who they are.

At meeting A, I should make a plan, in association with X and Kathryn as to what I'm to get up to over the six months.  As it is, X is going to be presented with a list of things I've done, and some things I've got planned, in order that they can rubber stamp it. 

It's frustrating, and starts you thinking that if the process of becoming involved in ministry is so apparently without order, do I really want to be involved?  Is this some sort of test to see if you really are committed? 

Readings

Sunday was my first speaking part at Hillside Kirk. The new testament reading.

I've done readings in church before, but this was a bit more real. While I feel that I'm among friends at Hillside, it's not the same group of people that I've known for the past 8 years at my home kirk. Having seen my attempts at the projector, Home Kirk is used to me making a hash of things.

So it went good enough. Things to note...

While it may be easier printing the reading out beforehand, and it's great to recycle, I had used the back of the Official Secrets Act as printing paper.

Make sure you know whether it's you, the minister, or someone else that introduces the reading.

But you spoke clearly and slowly, pausing for

emphasis where required. The important thing was that Beverley was up the back, and she heard every word.

If you are to speak with authority, make sure they can hear you.

Busy Weekend. Part 2

Mrs G mentioned it already but when you get a chance for parking in St Andrews, you've just got to take advantage of it.  We had driven to St Andrews on the bike, and when we arrived, there were a group of Honda Goldwings parked up, and their owners were rattling a tin for Cancer Research.  They waved me over and asked me to add my 'wing to their display.  Unfortunately, I believe that muck adds a few mph at the top end, so I'm reluctant to chip the muck off for anyone.  So there I was parked alongside some stunning examples of the art of custom motorcycle building, with a bike that was so filthy, the grand-daughter of one of the bikers told me to wash my bike before taking it out again. That's me told then...

All the kids liked my bike though.  Probably something to do with the box of sweets on the back.

The Goldwing Misfits are a really great bunch of folk that enjoy their bikes, and use their time, talents and resources to help out other folk.  And they were having a whole load of fun at the same time. Something everyone should consider.

Silence

Could you get away with a completely silent sermon?  Perhaps an introductory thought, a closing prayer, and in the middle,


nothing.

Perfect reflective calm.

How long before everyone got bored?

Could it last ten minutes?

Twenty?

Perhaps this is something better suited to a smaller group.

I'll save this for a week when the sermon is lacking in the word count...

Productive, part one.

A busy weekend.  Loads going on.

Hillside Kirk had its prayer breakfast, at the unholy hour of 9am on Saturday.  Now despite us all sitting in the same hall that us used for the serving of tea and coffee on a Sunday, it was more relaxed.  I took a seat off in the corner so I could work out the groups and social norms at this occasion, and it was clear that some people took seats closer to the serving hatch than others.  On my side of the room, most people had something to eat before they came out, so perhaps the serving hatch group did not have this foresight. 

I was glad to have a seat next to Beverley.  Beverley welcomes everyone on a Sunday, and always looks out for the older folks, despite her being a few years past 21 herself.   Every kirk needs a Beverley, and I was glad to have a few moments of pleasant blether.  I'd also managed to have a blether with someone who told me about the bike he ownedjust after the war.  Bikers sort of gather together.

So after an exceptional breakfast, we had a session of prayers, minister led, but with spontaneous input from others present.  It was nice just to have a period of reflective calm, as it's something we just don't do that often. 

I've not had any involvement in many acts of worship away from the church setting.  In this group, the prayers felt a part of the morning, not just something tacked on after a bacon roll.  I'm aware that this will not work everywhere, but it was obviously popular at Hillside.