Flowing

Today just seemed to go right.

This was the last of my four slots helping with my regular minister at Lane End and Fieldside.  The initial idea was to have some sort of interview type sermon, with us bouncing questions off each other and working that into Jeremiah saying he wasn't up for the task, and with the Holy Spirit at Pentecost reading from Acts.

Now the minister sent me his first draft of the sermon, and it became clear that there was going to be a lot of probing of my calling.  I'm usually OK with that, but I didn't want the sermon to appear to be all about me.  So on Saturday evening we discussed a plan which saw us using most of the content of his original sermon, and when questioned I gave an account of three people I had met on the enquiry process, all of whom had entertained the idea of ministry, but had then went on to follow God's call in some other way.  I went on to give examples of opportunities to follow God's call in the local area.  So in the end, the sermon was about 25% my content, 75% his, but with the delivery of the sermon split 50/50.

Yes I know this sounds muddled and complicated, but when we actually got up there and delivered it, it worked.  The 9.30 service at Lane End felt great for a change.  I have occasionally felt that, despite my best efforts, I have used their service as a dress rehearsal for the 11.00 at Fieldside.  Today it just flowed.

When I got to Fieldside, the projectionist had used a few images to illustrate callings within that local parish, and I was confident enough to divert slightly from the script and use them as examples of the varied ways people are called to serve God.  This was unexpected but it personalised the sermon to that congregation.

This was just the confidence boost I was needing.  This was the last involvement in a sermon that I will have until after my selection on the 5th.

Not good

It just wasn't good.

My minister has let me shaddow him for the four weeks or so I have between placement ending and selection conference.  Last week it was a short prayer.  Simple enough.

This week I had a more involved prayer booked.  Fine.  Then this evolved into doing the introduction to the service, plus the prayers, then a bit on Christian Aid.

And that was when things started to unravel.  The intro had responses, printed in the order of service.  So I asked the congregation to join in, and I started, but the responses weren't coming back at me.  The minister gave the lines back at me, as the congregation should have.  Them Mrs Gerbil caught my eye and pointed at the order of service.  No responses. 

Merde.  That's for the 11.00 service at Fieldside, not at the 09:30 at Lane End.  That explains why the person that does the order of service looks panicked, as she told me later she was worried she had missed something.  Then my mic seemed to stop working while talking about CA week, totally mucking up my train of thought.

It all goes together to look sloppy, and I feel like I'm letting down Lane End.  There's often something goes wrong when I'm let loose at the front of the church, and even though things recovered at Fieldside at 11.00, I just left feeling pretty flat.

I have two more Sundays before conference.

Children's address

I was away from Hillside kirk today, instead taking the children's address at the kirk up the road.  The minister of up the road is my presbytery rep for the enquiry process, and he suggested I come along, partly to see the place, and partly to get experience doing things in other churches.

Now I'm not too bothered about talking to children, having been one once myself.  My main concern is that I'm one of the first people that has discussed the Gospel with them, so I had better be sure that what I'm telling them is correct.  So make sure I've got the lesson clear in my own head.  And make sure I've got all the possible avenues they can go down covered. For example, it's all very well talking about Shrove Tuesday and ash Wednesday, but if they ask why it's called Ash Wednesday, then I need to have an answer.  So know the topic well.

The other thing was the level of the talk.  I had a great idea for a talk earlier in the week, but I felt it would have went over there heads when I started writing it down, so I left it to do as a sermon at a later date, or perhaps with a group of children that I know better.

My final thing is that I feel the need to write a script down.  I need to have the talk written out beforehand, in full.  While I only referred to it a couple of times, and even then just to remind me of a couple of key points, and what the next hymn was.  I’ll probably distil it down to bullet points for the next time. 

So it went well. 

This week is going to be a bit of an odd one.  A real university level essay to do, the sermon for next week, my second PDI meeting, a brew with Nik* and a job interview. 

*Edit to say. The brew in question will be odd because it's immediately post PDI!

Chaplaincy visit

(source BBC)

(This is one of those posts where confidentiality reigns over the needs of a journal)

The other week I met up with a couple of our local hospital chaplains.  Now I'm not exactly the biggest fan of hospitals, hate needles, blood or anything even remotely medical and I hide under a cushion when there's anything gory happening.  So I had been putting off the whole visiting a hospital thing.  Yes, I know I'm not there for me, yes, I know I'm there for the people, and yes I know I'm just expressing a bit of God's love to those I'm visiting.  I know.  I just don't particularly like it.

I'm a big feckin' jessie.

The chaplains that I met were great.  Very easy people to talk to, and from walking around, they are liked by patients and the staff.  And while they come from a variety of faith backgrounds, they work together to share the love.  Something we are often not too great at doing outwith the hospitals.

I'm thinking that if I'm going forwards, I should consider some sort of chaplaincy placement. 

(Over)confidence

So as I drove to Hillside, to play my small part in the Remembrance Service,  there was a grumbling in the stomach and a strange unease.  Certainly an unfamiliar sensation.

After a short distance, the thought hit me. I don't believe it - I'm getting stage fright!  Me!  Overconfident, with an ego the size of a house and a brass neck to boot.  So I did the only thing you can do in those things.  Pray the Test Pilot's prayer*, throw the whole thing into God's hands and let him help.


And it seemed to work.

Smooth calm.  After that, everything else went well, with praise from the back row.

So don't get overconfident. And let God do the rest.

* Dear God. Don't let me mess this up. Amen.