Heckled

Unity.

Pretty good theme for a service this weekend.  We split the service, with the Associate Minister doing the sermon, while I did the prayers and insight.  Insight, for the uninitiated, is an introductory thought to the service.  A sort of substitute children's address for those occasions where there are no children.

Early on in the week, the AM and I exchanged emails regarding the service, and I suggested that, there were things that were a problem before the referendum that were still a problem after it.  It is only through us pulling together that we will be able to try to make a difference.  It was an idea I had the other week regarding the stories that have fallen out of the news, or have been obscured by bigger stories.  Perhaps we should devote some of our prayers of intercession to the stories from the newspapers from three months ago. So there are still people going hungry and relying on foodbanks.  There are also the problems of people being homeless, or being affected by the bedroom tax.  And on an international level, the Ebola crisis hasn't gone away.  It is only...

"BUT THIS IS SCOTLAND!"

...through working together...  wait, what?!?!?  Someone in the middle of the congregation has taken exception to me mentioning international affairs. And she took exception loudly.  I can't remember exactly what I said afterwards, but it was along the lines of, yes, this is Scotland, and the people of scotland have always worked to help those in need at home or abroad.  Perhaps I should have ignored it, but the hair trigger in me went off.  Besides, she was loud enough that everyone in the congregation must have heard.  I certainly heard her from at least 5 metres away.

This morning I was using my notes as a guide only.  I was being conversational, rather than scripted, and she threw me right off.  From what was a good and flowing delivery, she threw me enough that I had to resort to reading the rest of my script directly from my notes.  I was exceptionally angry.

I don't do this stuff for my benefit.  I genuinely want to help bring people closer to God.  I have had a few weeks recently where the topics haven't really spoken to me and I have struggled. While I certainly don't spend all week writing sermons, I'm certainly thinking about it for most of the week, bouncing around thoughts before they hit the page.   But I still want to try to get up there and make a difference. 

I came very close to leaving halfway through the service, once my bit was complete, but it was only because I wanted to hear what the AM had to say that I stayed. 

I was so annoyed that I went out for a cycle in the afternoon to clear my head.  30 miles later and I was starting to feel almost human.

I don't object to people objecting to my sermons.  Most of them have the good courtesy to let me know after the service where they object.  I have had some pretty good conversations as a result. Heckling makes you look like you are in a comedy club, and you have had a glass too many.

Placement so far.

This might come over as a bit of a moan.  Yes, I am enjoying my placement, and my supervisor is very good.  I think it is just the comparison with my last placement that makes this seem a little frustrating.  Last time I was unemployed through the whole length of my placement, so there was a lot more I could drop in on.  This time, I have a 9-5 job, so the only things I have been able to encounter have been those which take place in the evening or weekend.  It’s the holiday club this week, and there are daytime services, and team meetings which I can’t get involved in.

So I am learning about the dark arts of team ministry, but I am not as able to immerse myself in congregational life as I was on my first placement.  I don’t want to get to the end of October, when I have probation lined up, and be told that I haven’t done enough.

This brings up a bigger question.  Is the Ordained Local Ministry a ministry that is suitable only for those who are unemployed, retired, or can work strange shifts while training?  Or even after training?  

There is a considerable commitment required in order to become an OLM, including an expected 20 hours study each week per unit studied (typically two units per term), three hours per week plus a Sunday and all this over and above the need to hold down a job.  You need to be a strong time manager in order to ensure you maintain a healthy work/life balance. 

Starting Over

Perhaps I'm in the wrong type job if I don't like change.

My second placement started today, the not quite immediate follow-on from my first.  I have met with my new supervisor twice now, once while we decide if we can work together, and the second time as we discussed officially the placement to come.

It's the first day of any placement that I really can't be arsed with.  I have spent the last six months making connections at Lowry (North) and now I have to start off again.  The fact that I can't remember names or faces really makes this awkward.  In the hall there is a picture of all the office bearers, so this will be my source of reference, and on a Sunday I can rely on many people wearing name badges.

So I went into the first church where I was warmly welcomed.  Some of the people on the door remembered me from when I checked out the church the week before.  Others knew there was a student coming, but didn't know what I looked like.

Worship is completely different from my previous experience, one of the reasons I picked this particular church.  The other reason was that there was nobody closer that could take me.

There is a lot to keep me busy, although this placement, I fear that I am going to have to work placement around work.  At least this will make it more like working as an OLM, having to balance work with ministry.

So it was an interesting first day, but I know that it will be weeks, perhaps months before I know the dynamics of the church. 

No Placement

Last week was my last weekend at Lowry (North).  I was kept busy and I was welcomed into everything that was going on, making me feel like a real part of the community.  So his week has seemed a little odd.

If I was to follow the normal training route for an OLM, I would have done my first six month placement then have to take six months off before starting my second placement October 2014 to March 2015.  12 months probation would start in October 2015 taking me through to October 2016.  The problem with this is that Mrs Gerbil will finish her probation in Autumn 2015, so when she goes to find her own charge, either I would have to break my own probation or postpone it until such time as I am settled wherever we end up.

It was agreed by the Church of Scotland that I could do a placement straight after my first, then go straight into probation.  The problem I am now having is finding someone to take me for a placement.  My preferred choice can't take trainees at all.  Number 2 can't take me for a variety of reasons.  Number 3 already has a student.  Number four is actually the newly appointed Minister at Hillside church where I did my enquiry, and I don' think I'm supposed to go back to a place that I have already visited.  There are another two ministers that have probationers, so I am having to cast the net further and further.  I should hear something this week, but I would like to be in post for Holy Week.

The oddness of this week has been brought about because I have nothing to do.  No prayers, readings or Children's Address to prepare.  No time spent at this time of night making sure nothing newsworthy has happened that needs mentioned in my intercessions.  And perhaps worst of all, no community really to call my own.  I know I would be welcome at my home church, but I don't really feel like I'm part of the community - I would just be a visitor.

So if I'm going to be a visitor, I'm going to visit somewhere new.  And perhaps relaunch the Fifty Acts of Worship...

Last day

Today was the last (Sun)day of my placement which ends officially tomorrow.  It's been an odd time for me, as while I am expected to do three hours a week plus a Sunday, my unemployment has meant that I have been able to drop in on more things than would be expected of me.

There isn't much that has went on in the life of the church that I have not had some involvement in.  I have missed out on the Messy Church, which is actually one of their growth areas.  \the rest of the events in the church I have enjoyed being a part of.

Six months has meant that I have been able to observe the dynamics of church life.  Who is friends with whom, who is the person that empowers everyone, and who is the person that will moan and be a negative influence on any project.  Somewhere in the middle of all this, the minister has to work between the various factions.  I've seen how the silliest things can be blown up out of all proportion, while major change can just happen without having any conflict.

It's been a friendly congregation, and the group that I will miss the most is the children.  I have went from being the scary tall bloke to being someone that they chat about cartoons with.  The come over and show me what they have done in Sunday School, and it's all big smiles and waving at me wehn they come and go. 

So today they presented me with a lovely home communion set. It's unfortunate that I'm not officially allowed to use it for another 18 months, but who knows, it might get an airing...

So that's one placement down, and who knows, I may even have another placement t start soon...

Two Gerbils and a Cat Called Adolph

There's somethig I covet, albeit ever so slightly.  The people that live down the street own a cat that looks like Hitler.  If I ever had a cat, I'd like mine to look like it could chase balls of wool and invade Poland*

But the other day I said to Mrs G, it's probably not appropriate, two ministers living in a house with a cat called Adolph.

And then she pointed out something.

I said TWO ministers.

Looks like I'm having a good week.

And I'm looking forward to the service on Sunday.



*Looks like the blog has reached rock botom.  I've went lolcats

School Assembly

I've not been to school for the better part of two decades. Today I sat back and witnessed my first school assembly for a long time. 

It was brief, forming part of the morning registration, and I was informed in advance that five minutes was all you got.  After a short welcome by the assistant head, the minister was introduced.  From my seat I was able to watch the reaction of the assembled third year audience.  As soon as my Local Assessor, Kathryn, (and she was introduced as Kathryn, not Mrs X or Rev Y)  took to the floor, there was a subtle change.  All eyes were to the front, and everyone was focusing on her message.  While everyone had given due respect to the head, Kathryn had their undivided attention.  Many of those present she will have known from primary school, so she seems to have earned a trust and respect from her flock.

Afterwards I was at the local school chaplains meeting.  I knew half of those present, but it was a priveledge to hear about the work they are doing in schools.  These ranged from small village primary schools to large town secondary schools. I heard about the types of project they were involved in, topics they had been asked to speak on (Embryology???) and the challenges they encountered.  One of the ministers asked for my impressions.  I told him that the thing I picked up was that  they weren't just chaplains to the class, they were also a workplace chaplain.  I was aware they had assisted staff with problems outside work, but also shared in the good times, by being invited to family events.  A school chaplain is chaplain to the school, not just the pupils.

This whole ministry thing is a much bigger role than the job description would suggest.


To crown a pretty good day, at the Student Feed I was introduced to a baptist minister from Cameroon and we had a great old blether.

This Stuff Just Got Real

A letter arrived today from the place known to those in the inner circle as "One Two One" informing me who will be guiding me through my Extended Enquiry. 

Now I'm less confident than I was.  Has God made a big mistake?  He's got 7,000,000,000 other folk to keep an eye on, surely there's someone better for the job.  I'm just wasting people's time.

Really?

I'm a lousy follower. 

What do you want me for?

Nineveh, Me? 

Yes, I've read your number one best seller a few times, but do you really think I'm taking it all in?

I'm going to go along, be pleasant and see what happens.   Suddenly I'm feeling a lot less sure of myself.

But there's still something in the back of my mind pushing me along. And that's the bit that's scary.