The Cat Problem. Part 2

The lack of cats round here is now causing issues.

There is a Herring Gull nest (Laurus Argentatus) on the roof of the manse.  This only presented a problem when the wind changed and its call was broadcast down the chimney, resulting in the oddest, haunting call from the living room fireplace.

Public Enemy Number One.

Unbeknown to us, there was a little bit of birds and bees action (or birds anyway) on the roof, and the result was two chicks.  One stayed up there, but the other has fallen into the garden. It's obviously taken the route that follows the slope of the various roofs, so it's not hurt itself nor fallen that far.  So now mummy or daddy seagull (how do you tell the difference?) is getting defensive, meaning that anyone that comes up the path gets dive-bombed.  You get two low swoops, then they go in for the kill. They will claw you if you get too close, or you can get about a pint of seagull poop fired at you.  Pleasant...  The safest way to cross the garden is to hold the feather duster above your head, because seabirds attack the top of animals they see as a threat.  Now the village is asking why the minister's husband feels the need  to go dusting in the garden.

Because this is a nesting bird, it's against the law for the nest to be disturbed except under special circumstances.  The paperwork required to get a nest destroyed is enormous and I'd have to get real exterminators in.  I'm certainly not allowed to take position on a grassy knoll and take careful aim, although rumour has it that there was a bit of unlawful extermination in the village last year...

Had this happened near Gerbil Towers, then my adoring feline population would have eaten the gull chick before it had time to realise that there was ground underneath the chimney.  Then there would be no reason for the seagull parents to attack the postman.  Round here, we have only seen one cat, so the chick survives for now.

There's a more serious side to this.  I believe the lack of cats is evidence of the nature of the local population.  People will take their dog on holiday, but they are more likely to leave the cat back home with a trusted neighbour.  The block of flats over the road is almost exclusively holiday let, or I believe partly owned by the local hotel, so you rarely see anyone there at the weekend.  So my advice to anyone seeking a charge is to go for a walk and count the cats.  If you don't see any then you only have a community at weekends.


The other bit of advice, from the local handyman, is you can tell how much it costs to heat a house by the size of the oil tank in the garden.  If it's bigger than most houses then the house will be freezing, need a lot of oil to heat and cost a fortune in winter.

Fifty Acts 45. Nice Service. Ugly Church.

The church I visited today looks like a nice place.  Built in the late 1700's, it stands in a prominent place in the town, amidst a graveyard that has some famous residents.  I have visited here briefly a couple of times, but never really sat and appreciated the place.  On the outside it's quite pleasant, but on the inside, it has a few issues.  Some time in the seventies, the interior was thrown at the ugly tree and it hit every branch when it came down.  The old interior was mostly ripped out, and replaced with something that would have looked cutting edge for the period, and now looks dated, and clashes with the rest of the building. Underneath long expanses of wooden panels, some original cornicing shows through in places, with the cladding round the organ and the pews all matching.  It's actually quite depressing, and I find it hard to believe that someone thought this would be a good idea.

But the service itself was very good.  I've met the minister socially on a number of occasions but never sat through one of her services.  She did the whole lot, sermon, readings, prayers and intimations herself, while I'm more used to seeing some members of the congregation having some sort of involvement.  The service actually flowed very well, and she kept a god pace throughout.  This service flowed along very nicely without the occasional interrruption that can be had when there is a change of speaker for example.

When I spoke to the minister afterwards, she told me that while the congregation are the sort of people that will happily get involved in the life of the church community, there was something about their background as mainly retired professionals that made them unwilling to be involved in worship.  It was their belief that the content and conduct of the service was wholly the responsibility of the minister.

So my lesson from today is that I need to be prepared for congregations that would prefer to sit and listen.  They are still participating, just in their own way. And I'll need to be prepared to make my voice last, as there are two services in this church each Sunday.

Only five more acts to go.  where next...?

Wildlife

Some pictures of the local residents...

All photos taken from the road, handheld with a 200mm lens.

This blog uses Cookies - and GCHQ / NSA is Watching.

The EU e-Privacy directive requires website owners to inform users that the website they are browsing uses cookies, small files that are stored on the end users computer to make the browsing of web pages easier.  Concerns about privacy meant that websites are now required to have some sort of notification, rather than relying on privacy policies buried somewhere on a website.  The result is that websites now have annoying popups informing me of cookie policies.

The thing about cookies is, in my opinion at least, nobody worried about them until the great unwashed started using the web.  Experienced users who were worried about privacy online would know how to browse in private modes, or to erase browsing history.  It's only when the general public started being stirred into a frenzy about online privacy that our politicians acted to enforce something that the majority of people haven't got a clue about anyway.  So now when I want to use a website, I've got to go through a nag screen to tell me what I knew already.

At the same time as webmasters are required to infom users of privacy policy, it turns out that our entire browsing history has being getting covertly watched as part of a US based project to prevent terrorism.  And because all this information is shared, GCHQ in Britain may or may not be party to this information as well.  And politicians on both sides of the pond, when questioned about this policy, the attitude is "meh."  So what.  It's for your own good.  The politicians don't seem to have a problem with wholesale privacy breaches.  If we could attach a generator to the body of Eric Blair, we could power the whole country from him spinning in his grave.

So, if you are concerned about privacy on this blog, don't use it.  There may be cookies, and even if there are, who cares, because Big Brother is watching anyway.

Fifty Acts 44. Homeward bound.

Today I had thought about visiting potential placement minister A at church B but instead went to my home church C where I found minister A sitting at the end of pew D of church C on a bit of study leave.  So we passed the time of day, discussing church projects relating to alzheimers. 

It's been ages since I've sat through an ordinary Sunday service at Lane End, so it was good to see the usual faces.  And I've got another idea for a children's address which involves two funnels and 100 foot of garden hose.  While effective in it's message, I'm just not entirely sure how it's going to work when it's on the hospital radio later.

It was afterwards the the conversation got a bit surreal.  I was having a brew with a huddle of little old ladies who were discussing the health of Prince Philip, when the subject of the Queen's coronation celebration came up.  "What i want to know..." asked one lady, "...is how all those old men managed to sit through that service without needing a leak.  Did they all have a bag or something?"  I did note that they would have been forbidden to use the umbrella stand as it is currently the asparagus season.

The conversation then descended, or ascended, into:

•  a graphic account of why peas and colostomy bags can have explosive results.
• The tale of a local lady who was on the throne when a builder stuck a pressure hose up the main sewer.
• The importance to fighter pilots of ensuring you do not mix up your oxygen pipe and your relief tube.
• The necessity of bagging urine and other matter during the Apollo 13 flight, for fear of causing course alterations.
• The legend of someone who was in an aircraft loo when severe turbulence struck, causing them to be covered in blue toilet liquid (amongst other things...)

I'm only taking credit for the Apollo story.

You've got to love the little old ladies!

Fifty Acts 43 Communion in three parts.

Coming from the central belt, Communion is something carried out four times a year on set Sundays, so i was keen to see how it's done elsewhere.

On Friday I went along to see preparation for Communion, which was to take place on the coming Sunday.  What I was expecting was a group of Elders discussing who will carry the bread, who will carry the wine etc.  What I wasn't expecting was a formal, public act of worship.

Communion is taken very seriously up here, so much so that when Commuion Sunday rolls round, church attendance actually drops, as the adherents decide not to attend.  While I understand that nowadays they are welcome, traditionally you had to be a full member to be at the top table, so only full members will turn out.

Communion weekend starts on the Friday with a short service which is intended as a start to the weekend.  The Sunday commences with the session being convened before the service, and while nobody appeared to have been turned away, it is my understanding that traditionally if you hadn't been at the Friday service, or if there was some other questionable stain on your character, then you would be barred from receiving Communion.  Nobody at the door asked for proof of my moral or spiritual fibre.  This is probably a good thing.  Finally, Sunday evening had another service to bring the weekend to a close.

In amongst the tradition, there was certainly a reverence for the occasion, from members and adherents alike.  Should there be more ceremony around Communion?  Or more reverence? Certainly there's a lot to be taken in about the importance the congregation places in the Sacraments. 

Interesting indeed.

They Call Me "Dances with Kittens"

Mrs G and I are in the far north.  I used to think Aviemore was a long way from my house, yet, once we got to Aviemore, we realised we were only half way to our destination.  Now we're here, in an enormous building that has the word "Manse" as part of its postal address, and yet something is missing.

I am blessed with a special power.  I am actually a deity to felids.  Whereas the Egyptians worshiped the cat, the cats appear to worship me.  I can talk to cats, wild and domestic.  A thoughtful stare, or a nonchalant glance, with a subtle turn of the head is all it takes for me to win over my subjects.  Once I learned how to bond with a cat, then it was only a matter of time before I realised that I was supreme ruler of all who will purr contentedly.

Yet, here's what's missing... There are no cats.  I've been through this village from end to end, and I've yet to see a cat.  Dogs yes, cats, no.  Where are they?  I don't know.  I've got the whole summer to investigate.

If I find that my subjects are being oppressed then I may have to do something nasty to the oppressor.  Perhaps I'll leave them a half dead mouse, or cough up a hairball.

In the meantime, I've spotted a ball of wool to play with.

Fifty Acts 42. WTF? at Airside

OK, the usual bit out of the way first. Nice building at Airside Church, friendly people. Talented Minister with an appropriate and well delivered sermon.  We've been to this church before, so no surprises.

So as the service finished, I saw someone I've not seen for about 10 years.  We were at college together so I said Hi to Brian and we exchanged plesantries about what we'd both been up to.  We were discussing the merits of various bible colleges in Scotland and their apparent theologies when Monday's General Assembly debate came up.  Then the conversation got decidedly frosty, almost hostile.

I was treated to someone with an entrenched position on the idea of gay ministers.  He's considering leaving the CofS because the church may be advocating gay clergy.  Now the first thing is the motion from the GA has not been passed to presbyteries yet, so we've got nothing to debate.  But Brian had a position and it wasn't for debate.  I'll not re-hash the rant, but it's probable you've heard it, or a variety of it.  It was a re-hash of the inaccurate parts of the reporting that followed the GA debate on Monday, which convenieltly fit his position.  It certainly did not reflet the motion agreed by the Assembly.  On top of that, Jesus wasn't Jewish, and  eventually stopped preaching in temples.  Seriously?

I've been to some varied congregations this year,but this was by far the most hostile reaction I've had so far.  I wasn' expecting this from within a CofS building.

My problem is that Brian is an Elder of the church.The Eldership promise in part is "...To seek the unity and peace of the church; To uphold its doctrine, worship, Government and discipline...”  There may be things about the church that I'm not keen on, but I have the option of contributing to the debate, accepting I'll not win every debate and moving on, or I can resign from the church.  Brian made it clear that he did not want to leave the church because he was there at the construction of the church premises.  But he was considering going to another denomination.

Perhaps I tend to take an over-simplified view of the world, but if an elder apparently is not willing to seek unity in the church, or to uphold the Government of the church, then they should not be in the role.  They have ceased to represent me.  In his position, Brian does not appear to be willing to negotiate, and sees his time in the church as in some way making his viewpoint more important. 

At a point in a debate involving young people, someone will express the opinion that the children are the future of the church.  So when are those members of the old guard who have entrenched opinions going to hand over the reigns of the church?  When they have bled the life out of it, and the young are given the drained corpse of a once great institution?  If those responsible for the leadership and pastoral care of congregations are not prepared to engage in debate, then the church has no future.

It is the debate that makes the Church of Scotland the solid organisaton it is.  We don't rush into things.  We talk about them. I accept that people will have firm, well reasoned opinions, on both sides of every debate.  But when the courts of the Church have made a decision, then we have to move on and work together.

So why is it, that there's some of us who are prepared to be flexible, and to listen to the opinions of others, and to work with those who we may not actually agree with?  But on the other hand, why has this issue has caused some people to dig their heels in and not engage in debate?  I don't actually want Brian to leave the church.   I'm not going to wish he leaves.  But I do want him to use his experience to be an effective representative in the courts of the church.  And that means listening, prayerfuly reflecting, contributing based on his knowledge of the facts, and then moving on when the debate doesn't go his way.

Fifty Acts 41. Small Act at the Big Kirk

I was asked by a friend if I would be able to do their lunchtime prayer service this week as they are off to the General Assembly.  Well I was flattered to be asked, it's the biggest building I've ever spoken in, and I particularly like shorter acts of worship.  Last week I went along to hear the normal service, so i had a pattern to work from.

Today met with the Church officer who set me up with the radio mic.  I then had a few minutes to wait before noon.  I was informed that a tour group was going to be visiting, so of course, one of them cornered me and started asking questions about the history of the building.  I bluffed a couple (Is it still a church? Yes. Do they do weddings? Yes. etc) of answers before handing over to Mrs G for the finer points of Scottish church history.

12 noon arrived and I started off.  It was a small audience in the side chapel, but I was aware that I was also preaching to some people who were in the main part of the church, and the radio mic covered the whole building.  It's just a bit unusual to be in a position where you don't have the undivided attention of everyone present. 

So I think it went well, and I was thanked by a couple of those present - I've not been there often enough to know if they were regulars or just visiting.  I'm certainly grateful for the experience.

My rough script is below.

**************************************************************

Every Wednesday at twelve noon there is a short service of prayer and reflection in the memorial chapel, to the right of the pulpit.  You are invited to join with us or to continue to explore and absorb the atmosphere of the building.

Good afternoon,

Our minister is attending the General Assembly in Edinburgh today, and I am privileged to have been asked to lead worship this morning.  My name is [spotthegerbil] and I am currently training for ministry within the church.

Let us come before God in prayer.

Almighty and eternal God,

You are great beyond our understanding, we cannot seek to understand your magnificence.

All glorious God,  We give you thanks that,

You chose us as your holy people, even before the world was made.

You adopted us as your children in Christ, and through his blood, you set us free from the burden of sin.   All praise and glory be to you o God.

And yet we know that we fall far short from the example that Christ showed us.

We fail to live up to his standards

We have not loved our neighbours

And we have not honoured your holy name.

We struggle with the pressures of life, when,

You would unburden us if only we turned to you in prayer.

So Lord,  Help us to change what we have been,

And set us on a new path

That we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways.

To the greater glory of your name.  Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

We hear from Psalm 119:

¹⁶¹ Rulers persecute me without cause,
    but my heart trembles at your word.
¹⁶² I rejoice in your promise
    like one who finds great spoil.
¹⁶³ I hate and detest falsehood
    but I love your law.
¹⁶⁴ Seven times a day I praise you
    for your righteous laws.
¹⁶⁵ Great peace have those who love your law,
    and nothing can make them stumble.
¹⁶⁶ I wait for your salvation, Lord,
    and I follow your commands.
¹⁶⁷ I obey your statutes,
    for I love them greatly.
¹⁶⁸ I obey your precepts and your statutes,
    for all my ways are known to you.

And from the Gospel according to Mark, chapter nine, verses 38 to 40:

³⁸ “Teacher,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop, because he was not one of us.”

³⁹ “Do not stop him,” Jesus said. “For no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, ⁴⁰ for whoever is not against us is for us. ⁴¹ Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward.

And may God add his blessing to these readings from His holy word.

Let us come again before God in prayer.

We give thanks this week for all those you have called to serve your church.  To the parish workers, Missionaries, Deacons, Readers, Ministers, Priests and lay members, regardless of their denomination.  Bless the work they undertake, and help us to recognise that anyone who works in your name is not against you. 

And as our Ministers gather in Edinburgh for the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, bless the Church as it struggles with all the conflicting cries upon it and within it. Ease its tensions. Calm its fears. Give it strength. Bring reconciliation where personalities argue and differences of opinion distract it from its purpose of showing Your grace to the world. Help it to find true unity in Christ and, where there is division bring healing and the ability to live in Christ’s love in harmony with those who hold alternative views.

May the Church be truly the Body of Christ, continuing to hold his love and forgiveness out to a world desperately in need of them.

Lord, we pray for those in the community around us who may not realise this church exists not just for those in the congregation, but for everyone that is in the parish.  Bless those who live around us, those who work in offices or shops, or those who have their own reasons for visiting this place of pilgrimage.  May this place be truly somewhere they may receive comfort.

Lord, look after those in our communities who suffer illness, whether they are in hospital, or bearing up at home.  Support those who care for the sick and frail in our communities and bring comfort and strength to all who are affected by illness.

We remember those who at some times feel

detached from you at this moment. Those who feel that
you may not be present in their daily lives, or find it difficult to
turn their thoughts towards to you. We pray that they are able to once
again experience your ever present and glorifying nature and realise
that you had never left them, but were always there waiting.

We remember today the families in Oklahoma affected by the Monday’s tornado, and also those affected by the cyclone in southeast Asia. Bring comfort to those who have lost loved ones, and give strength to those involved in the rescue operation. 

And as we are here gathered, Lord, we pause together in silence to reflect on the troubles laid heavy on our hearts and known unto you. 

Paws

Heavenly Father, help us to remember, that, even in our darkest times, of worry, doubt and pain, you are there for us, and you are accompanying us at all times along life’s journey. 

These and all our prayers are offered in the name of your son, Jesus Christ, who taught us when we pray to say :

Our Father, who art in heaven,           hallowed by thy name;            thy kingdom come;
thy will be done;          on earth as it is in heaven.      Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,        as we forgive our debtors.      And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.            For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,             for ever.          Amen.

I was given this prayer card at the Heart and Soul event and asked to pass it on....

May God watch over you
and be your shade and shelter
so that the sun may not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

May God guard you from all harm
and watch over you
all the dayys of your life
both now and forever more
amen. 

Fifty Acts 40. Heart and Soul

Apparently we are all falling out.  Apparently we are a church divided.  Well it wasn't in evidence on Sunday at Heart and Soul.

This being the third time the Kirk has run an event on the General assembly Sunday, Mrs G and I were prepared.  First off to the HIV/Aids programme for a soup lunch.  We had our sandwiches by the Ross Fountain, a very nice bit of cake from Dunfermline Abbey, then of to Church and Society for a brew and Bun.  We declined fudge and cheese from the Orkney stall.  On top of all this, we went out for dinner afterwards.  On Monday I dieted...

After seeing some wonderful presentations from gathered congregations and organisations, and getting to catch up with ministers and kirk members that we have crossed paths with, we hardly had time to walk the length of the event and back before the final act of worship.  At one point we had four bloggers blethering in a circle when a fifth walked by - perhaps there needs to be a bloggers tent.  There really was a lot crammed into the park, including a couple of penguins....

The final act of worship takes place on the Ross Bandstand.  It's a big, public act of worship that is popen to all, and is visible to all in Edinburgh, from the Castle to Primark.  We are a big Kirk, and it's good that a large representative body of ministers and members can gather and show that we have more in common than we have differences.  I'm glad this appears to have become a permanent fixture on the kirk calendar.