Sunday 2 June 2013

They Call Me "Dances with Kittens"

Mrs G and I are in the far north.  I used to think Aviemore was a long way from my house, yet, once we got to Aviemore, we realised we were only half way to our destination.  Now we're here, in an enormous building that has the word "Manse" as part of its postal address, and yet something is missing.

I am blessed with a special power.  I am actually a deity to felids.  Whereas the Egyptians worshiped the cat, the cats appear to worship me.  I can talk to cats, wild and domestic.  A thoughtful stare, or a nonchalant glance, with a subtle turn of the head is all it takes for me to win over my subjects.  Once I learned how to bond with a cat, then it was only a matter of time before I realised that I was supreme ruler of all who will purr contentedly.

Yet, here's what's missing... There are no cats.  I've been through this village from end to end, and I've yet to see a cat.  Dogs yes, cats, no.  Where are they?  I don't know.  I've got the whole summer to investigate.

If I find that my subjects are being oppressed then I may have to do something nasty to the oppressor.  Perhaps I'll leave them a half dead mouse, or cough up a hairball.

In the meantime, I've spotted a ball of wool to play with.

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