The Cat Problem. Part 2

The lack of cats round here is now causing issues.

There is a Herring Gull nest (Laurus Argentatus) on the roof of the manse.  This only presented a problem when the wind changed and its call was broadcast down the chimney, resulting in the oddest, haunting call from the living room fireplace.

Public Enemy Number One.

Unbeknown to us, there was a little bit of birds and bees action (or birds anyway) on the roof, and the result was two chicks.  One stayed up there, but the other has fallen into the garden. It's obviously taken the route that follows the slope of the various roofs, so it's not hurt itself nor fallen that far.  So now mummy or daddy seagull (how do you tell the difference?) is getting defensive, meaning that anyone that comes up the path gets dive-bombed.  You get two low swoops, then they go in for the kill. They will claw you if you get too close, or you can get about a pint of seagull poop fired at you.  Pleasant...  The safest way to cross the garden is to hold the feather duster above your head, because seabirds attack the top of animals they see as a threat.  Now the village is asking why the minister's husband feels the need  to go dusting in the garden.

Because this is a nesting bird, it's against the law for the nest to be disturbed except under special circumstances.  The paperwork required to get a nest destroyed is enormous and I'd have to get real exterminators in.  I'm certainly not allowed to take position on a grassy knoll and take careful aim, although rumour has it that there was a bit of unlawful extermination in the village last year...

Had this happened near Gerbil Towers, then my adoring feline population would have eaten the gull chick before it had time to realise that there was ground underneath the chimney.  Then there would be no reason for the seagull parents to attack the postman.  Round here, we have only seen one cat, so the chick survives for now.

There's a more serious side to this.  I believe the lack of cats is evidence of the nature of the local population.  People will take their dog on holiday, but they are more likely to leave the cat back home with a trusted neighbour.  The block of flats over the road is almost exclusively holiday let, or I believe partly owned by the local hotel, so you rarely see anyone there at the weekend.  So my advice to anyone seeking a charge is to go for a walk and count the cats.  If you don't see any then you only have a community at weekends.


The other bit of advice, from the local handyman, is you can tell how much it costs to heat a house by the size of the oil tank in the garden.  If it's bigger than most houses then the house will be freezing, need a lot of oil to heat and cost a fortune in winter.