Fifty Acts 26. Too Much Information

I've been to a number of funerals since I've started this project.  One, which should by rights have been the fourth of the Fifty Acts has never been published because I found the service to be too uncomfortable.  It's taken nearly five months to write this much.  There was nothing actually wrong with the service, but some of the content just didn't sit right with me, and I know it's probably down to me trying to say farewell to a friend, while at the same time observing one of my future colleagues doing her work.  I'm sorry if this is a bit vague, but that's the way this is going to stay.

I can see this blog closing in the not too distant future.  At the moment I'm one step removed.  I'm not really a "real" candidate in training.  All I'm doing is a couple of university modules, I'm not on placement.  Things become "real" in the autumn.  I'm going to have to be even more careful what I write. At the very least I'm going to move the pastoral stuff into my private journal, and keep more of the reflective stuff on here.

And that's why the fourth of the Acts will never see the light of day.  I'm not happy about publishing anything that could be even remotely personally identifiable. This journal is for my benefit, and hopefully for the benefit of those who are contemplating training.  It's not for entertainment, so I don't want to hurt people's feelings by publishing anything even remotely sensitive.  It will destroy people's confidence in me and the organisation I hope to be a part of.

And I'm very much aware that blogging isn't anonymous.  Anyone with a bit of savvy could work out exactly who I am, and from that work out roughly who I was writing about.  The same goes for anyone online.  The flip side of that is, I know exactly who reads this blog, where in the world they are coming from, what computer or phone they use, which operating system, their IP address, what they looked at and for how long.  There is absolutely no privacy online.

A few months ago I tried to make one post private, made a hash of it, and blocked the blog for a few hours.  (I was surprised that people actually noticed.)  Even though the blog has a privacy setting, anything that is published could still be copied onto one of the internet archives, and it's there for good.

So the bottom line is, if I wouldn't publish it in the local paper, or in the parish newsletter, it's not going in here.