Hard Questions

"Why do we drink Jesus' blood?"

If you want to find a whole load of awkward questions, Primary Four is the place to find them. This was the first time I had sat in a primary four class, since primary four.  Pamela, the Methodist Deacon invited me to take part in her morning assembly, with a couple of classes afterwards.  There was a small issue when we discovered that neither the two of us had a lighter for the Advent candle.  Back in my day, you could always rely on at least one of the pupils having a lighter, but these modern young 'uns seem to have kicked the weed habit.

The two classes were interesting, and while I felt I was basking in the glory of Pamela and Stephen, the children seemed willing to open up to me.  They had seen me at the assembly the other week, so now they wave at me and say hello. 

I'm still getting used to modern school culture, as you don't put your hand up to answer a question, instead you have "answering arms"where you fold your arms, while at the same time maintaining an expression of enthusiasm.  The way they were bouncing up and down with folded arms, reminded me of a troop of Cossack dancers! 

Nelson Mandela

"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God."



Rest in peace Madiba.

Source: Glasgow City Council Libraries.

Lap Dancing Discounts

My dear old Gran hits 100 next week, so today after having a brew with some local candidates, I went greetings card shopping. 

I picked up a tasteful card, handed over my money and the card was handed back to me in a small plastic bag.  Upon leaving the store I looked into the bag and as well as the tasteful card, I looked down upon a card depicting a dancer's bare arse.

WTF?

(Mrs G has pointed out that she was wearing a thong.  I suppose that makes a difference.)

So I returned to the store, and the lady behind the counter told me she it was her other employer and she was told to put them in the bags.  I dumped the cards on the counter but I wish I had kept them, if only for evidence.

I've been around, I've seen a lot, and I'm not much of a prude, and I'm aware that businesses have to engage in upselling to promote their business.  But do they really think we are taking my Gran to a lap dancing bar for her hundredth?

Presbytery

If there was one good thing about Presbytery, it was my colleagues footwear.  She had on the most amazing pair of purple tartan Doc Marten's.  Sitting amongst a group of colleagues where our office wear is predominately either black (for pulpit, crematorium and graveside) or dark navy blue (school assemblies and hospital visits) it was a pleasant change to see something strikingly different. 

The rest of the evening was spent rumbling feet in agreement with decisions and deliverances that had been made by sub-committees. I'm not a member of Presbytery, I'm just an observer, so I can't officially get involved in the debate.  I don't even rumble my feet, which makes me feel like I'm abstaining or objecting.  I hope nobody notices.

Perhaps this is just a quiet spell.  Perhaps it would have been a bit more lively when Presbytery plans were being drawn up.  Tonight was just a little too quiet.  I'd hate to be involved in an assembly where nobody ever spoke. I would feel obliged to come out with an expressly controversial opinion, just to try to get some sort of debate going.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy some shoes for next Presbytery.

  Source: Wikipedia

Communion

I have a lovely white tablecloth.  it comes out for special occasions, and it's enormous.  It will cover our dining table completely, with a lot left over.  We have to fold it in half, and then on top of that goes plates, bowls, glasses, cutlery etc.  If anything is spilled, well we might give the cloth a soaking to prevent staining, but it's an accident, and it's a sign of a lovely meal.  While we look after the good cloth, it's there to be used.

Today I had my first communion where I was behind the table - I was never an elder, although my Presbytery says I was...  On top of the white cloth had been placed a plastic sheet, protecting the white tablecloth.  It was as Stephen read the intimations that I noticed some marks on the plastic.  There was an arrow pointing to the congregation, then some circles where the elements were to be placed.  A space had been left for the lectern, but not much.  In thinking about it, there was more space devoted to the two communion jugs, which were not used, or even filled, than for the Minister's notes. 

I mentioned to Pamela, the Methodist Deacon that I preferred communion at her church, where we could all gather round the table, and there was a bit more spontaneity, although we agreed that isn't always possible due to large congregations and building layout.  I'm just worried that there is a process that we must be seen to follow, without deviation.  So are we taking part in a process or a sacramental commemoration? 

Much to ponder...

Working in a Church.

There is a tipping point in the busyness of church life, where congregations feel they need to start employing a paid staff. When the volume of mail gets too much, or when the extra enterprises associated with the congregation require more than can be handled by a volunteer a few hours a week, then you will seee anadvert for someone to help around the office.

I know a few people who work in congregations.  One has been working in a church for a good few years now.  It's a busy church that has a number of rooms available for hire through the week, plus a catering service, so there's a lot on top of the standard congregational life.  Their paid hours are Monday to Friday, yet they worship with that congregation on a Sunday.  This means that, when something goes wrong, or if there's something that needs stuck in next weeks order of service, they are given a scrap of paper on Sunday morning to deal with through the week.  Yet there's someone else I know that is strict about the mon-Fri 9-5 contracted hours and goes to another congregation to worship. 

My concern for the first person is that they don't have a separation between their church and working lives.  Where do they go to for spiritual direction, when the Minister is also their boss?  Would it be more appropriate if we recruited our staff from outwith our congregations so as to be a bit more fair to our employees?  Should we be advising our employees that worshiping with us on a Sunday isn't a part of their contract, and they may wish to worship elsewhere? 

I'm not sure.  It depends on the person and the congregation.  And it's easy for me to say  here in the Central belt where there's churches all over the place.  What about the Highlands or Lowlands where you can have miles between parishes?  I've no answers, but it's something to be thinking about.

Christ the King Sunday

Christ the King Sunday is the last event in the church year before Advent begins next week.

You know, Advent.  Celebrating the coming of Jesus. 

If you are going to switch on your Christmas lights, some time in Advent is good. 

Having them switched on the Saturday before Christ the King Sunday is liturgically so last year.

It wasn't a shopping centre, it wasn't our neighbours.

It was a church. 

It was a CofS church.in the next parish north from here. 

Please, get real.  It's bad enough that the shops have Christmas spreading backwards from December, I don't want the church to be doing the same.

I'm sure they will be celebrating Easter just as soon as the Creme Eggs hit the shops.

Dumb Animals

Short version.  Guide dog attacked while going to the pub. Source Crewe Chronicle.

The dumb animal in question being the owner of any dog that permits, through action or inaction, an attack on a guide dog.

Having known a number of people with assistance dogs or who have puppy walked, I have seen the benefit that assistance dogs bring to peoples lives.  There's a lot of investment in training a guide dog, but it's more than paid off by the fact that their owners can get out to work, and not have to rely on others.

Someone needs to teach the owners the Woodhouse method, while their dogs sit and watch...

Off topic.

Off topic.  Still awesome.

A Month or So in

So what have I been up to?

Lowry (North) like many of the churches round here on the Atlantic coast has a whole lot going on through the week.  And just like every other church, for every organisation there is usually a meeting to go with them!

After my first funeral the other week, it was followed up by another, although my second wasn't part of placement, and it was a pretty rough experience for all concerned.   I'd like to be done with funerals for this year.

I have had the good things as well.  Remembrance service in the care home was nice, as we were profusely thanked by many of the residents for coming along.  One lady was determined to stand for the National Anthem.  It may have taken her a little time to get up, but there was no way she was sitting for the Queen.

I made a pastoral visit to a lady who got her driving license thanks to WWII and hasn't stopped driving since.  It was really nice to spend time just blethering about her family and life in general, and she makes an exceedingly good cup of tea.  She did admit that she hadn't been baking, and her cakes may also have been "Exceedingly Good"  as well... 

The church has a number of staff, full time and volunteers, so I have spent time getting to know some of them, and hearing what it's like to work for the church in a non-ministerial role.  There is a lot going on based from the church office so it was interesting to hear how the volunteers and the paid staf work together.

All in, it's an interesting placement, and I'm being kept busy.  My only concern is that the OLM handbook states that I am to spend three hours plus a Sunday.  While I am trying to do perhaps more than I should, I still think it would be hard to fit everything into three hours a week. 

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In other news, I am sitting writing this in a cafe.  One of the staff has just had a rant about why it should be against the law to sell things cheaper on the internet. The internet should be more expensive to force people to go to the shops.  I don't think she has embraced the information age.  In fact, I think she is still upset that Mr Ford's motor car has forced the horses from the road...