So what would happen in a staring contest between one of these...
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| © BBC |
Sunday, 29 December 2013
Gorgons versus Angels
OK, so I've been watching Atlantis and Doctor Who.
So what would happen in a staring contest between one of these...
and one of these?
So what would happen in a staring contest between one of these...
5.87 Volts
5.87 volts. As my high school technical teacher may have put it, "not enough power to pull the skin off a rice pudding."
5.87 volts is certainly not enough power to crank my motorbike.
5.87 volts is not what you want to find when you are thirty minutes from the start of a service that is a twenty minute drive away.
Bugger.
Apologies phoned through to Lowry (North)
10 volts and the ignition lights will flicker into life. That's enough to push start the bike. This is the point that I pull out fuses for all unnecessary systems on the bike, in order to give it fighting chance to start.
11 volts and the starter may give a grudging turn, and it will be borderline of the bike will start.
It's a relatively well maintained bike, and it's pretty reliable, so when it does let me down, it really picks its moments. I think this damp weather has done it no favours.
I'm hoping that my next placement church will be a little closer. My reasons for not opting for Lowry (north) was for precisely days like today. Public transport to Lowry (North) would take me over two hours on a Sunday, each way. With two ministers in the house, there is only one car, and Mrs Gerbil has first refusal on it. From the summer, Mrs G will be on probation and will be at her church full time.
Of my top five churches for placement, one was practically at the end of my street, and the next two were a 25 and a 30 minute cycle away. I'm going to have to have serious thoughts about where I'm placed next.
5.87 volts is certainly not enough power to crank my motorbike.
5.87 volts is not what you want to find when you are thirty minutes from the start of a service that is a twenty minute drive away.
Bugger.
Apologies phoned through to Lowry (North)
10 volts and the ignition lights will flicker into life. That's enough to push start the bike. This is the point that I pull out fuses for all unnecessary systems on the bike, in order to give it fighting chance to start.
11 volts and the starter may give a grudging turn, and it will be borderline of the bike will start.
It's a relatively well maintained bike, and it's pretty reliable, so when it does let me down, it really picks its moments. I think this damp weather has done it no favours.
I'm hoping that my next placement church will be a little closer. My reasons for not opting for Lowry (north) was for precisely days like today. Public transport to Lowry (North) would take me over two hours on a Sunday, each way. With two ministers in the house, there is only one car, and Mrs Gerbil has first refusal on it. From the summer, Mrs G will be on probation and will be at her church full time.
Of my top five churches for placement, one was practically at the end of my street, and the next two were a 25 and a 30 minute cycle away. I'm going to have to have serious thoughts about where I'm placed next.
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Christingle? I'd rather not.
I'm a little worried about the idea of a Christingle service.
This month a food bank launched in my presbytery, the third in the area that I'm aware of. Churches and schools around here are throwing their weight behind the project, and I'm particularly impressed with the work of one of the local high schools in their collection efforts.
The idea of the Christingle service seems nice, but I don't like the idea of food being used in worship if it's going to waste. i would like to think that the oranges will all be eaten afterwards. If so, enjoy it, and read no further.
I just don't like the idea of food going to waste when there's a need for food. That we as a church are saying we will help feed the poor, then have an example of conspicuous consumption. There's something not quite right here.
Oh, and the orange juice makes a mess of the carpet...
This month a food bank launched in my presbytery, the third in the area that I'm aware of. Churches and schools around here are throwing their weight behind the project, and I'm particularly impressed with the work of one of the local high schools in their collection efforts.
The idea of the Christingle service seems nice, but I don't like the idea of food being used in worship if it's going to waste. i would like to think that the oranges will all be eaten afterwards. If so, enjoy it, and read no further.
I just don't like the idea of food going to waste when there's a need for food. That we as a church are saying we will help feed the poor, then have an example of conspicuous consumption. There's something not quite right here.
Oh, and the orange juice makes a mess of the carpet...
Monday, 23 December 2013
Where's the Bairns?
A while back I was at a meeting where it was mentioned that an advent wreath had to be bought because it's getting a bit too much for the person who had been making them for years. I can't remember the exact cost, but it was enough to draw a shocked intake of breath from all those gathered. To me, it seemed like a fair price for the work that the florist put in, and it was a perfect example of the value that the volunteers in the church put in, through their time, talents and money.
I asked at the time if some of the children could have been given an oasis ring and, with appropriate assistance, made their own advent ring. It would have been a nice contribution from them, and a seasonal example of their being part of the congregation. After all, Christmas is the season that children have most involvement in with the church. could they manage something else? Would it make the season that is busy for them a little too much like work?
When discussion came up about the use of matches or a lighter to light the candles, I suggested that the children would find one of those stove lighter wands easier to use, there was blank looks. People were more worried about the prospect of wax on the carpet than children using wax tapers.
Advent arrived, and while one adult read a script about the candles, another adult lit the candles. This pattern was repeated, with the exception of yesterday, when I got to light all four candles and read the script.
When the nativity play started, the children acted out their parts, but in mime only. There were no spoken parts, which, while they can on occasion be slow in delivery, are cute. People still talk about the times when they had a part to play in their nativity many years ago. The narrator, another adult, did all the speaking. so yes, it was cute, it was Christmassy, and the important parts of the message were there. I just don't like feeling that the children have to be old before they are allowed to be young again.
In other news, I'm listening to Team Rock Radio at the moment. No adverts, with the exception of an occasional ad for the magazine that is paying the bills. A very occasional Christmas song, which usually has an awesome guitar riff. If the first song you hear of a day is the one that sticks in your head all day, Monday, the day of the interview with the Christian organisation, the tune in my head was "Can I Play with Madness." It seemed appropriate...
I asked at the time if some of the children could have been given an oasis ring and, with appropriate assistance, made their own advent ring. It would have been a nice contribution from them, and a seasonal example of their being part of the congregation. After all, Christmas is the season that children have most involvement in with the church. could they manage something else? Would it make the season that is busy for them a little too much like work?
When discussion came up about the use of matches or a lighter to light the candles, I suggested that the children would find one of those stove lighter wands easier to use, there was blank looks. People were more worried about the prospect of wax on the carpet than children using wax tapers.
Advent arrived, and while one adult read a script about the candles, another adult lit the candles. This pattern was repeated, with the exception of yesterday, when I got to light all four candles and read the script.
When the nativity play started, the children acted out their parts, but in mime only. There were no spoken parts, which, while they can on occasion be slow in delivery, are cute. People still talk about the times when they had a part to play in their nativity many years ago. The narrator, another adult, did all the speaking. so yes, it was cute, it was Christmassy, and the important parts of the message were there. I just don't like feeling that the children have to be old before they are allowed to be young again.
In other news, I'm listening to Team Rock Radio at the moment. No adverts, with the exception of an occasional ad for the magazine that is paying the bills. A very occasional Christmas song, which usually has an awesome guitar riff. If the first song you hear of a day is the one that sticks in your head all day, Monday, the day of the interview with the Christian organisation, the tune in my head was "Can I Play with Madness." It seemed appropriate...
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Watch Night
3.5 hours later, we are finished. That is after about 3 hours of rehearsals yesterday.
We did open in prayer, for all those in attendance, and also for the viewers, in the hope they will get something from the broadcast.
But it was only about half of a recording. Half the hymns were recorded by another group of singers in the local area earlier today. And also half the bells - the sound engineer didn't do midnight, he used 6pm and doubled it. It's going to be interesting to see how the church looked lit for television, as what the eye sees is completely different to what the camera sees.
It's an unusual act of worship, but I think it's an important one. The audience for the Watch Night service is 250,000. It's a privilege to be a very small part of a church service that has so many people watching. The reasons people are watching, well we don't know. Perhaps they can't get to their own church so late, perhaps they don't ever attend church, yet it wouldn't be Christmas without some of the old tunes. Whatever the reason, I pray they find it a spiritual experience.
The broadcast will be on the BBC at 11:20 (I think) on 24th December. If you are looking for me, I'm somewhere in the middle, standing next to Mrs Gerbil.
We did open in prayer, for all those in attendance, and also for the viewers, in the hope they will get something from the broadcast.
But it was only about half of a recording. Half the hymns were recorded by another group of singers in the local area earlier today. And also half the bells - the sound engineer didn't do midnight, he used 6pm and doubled it. It's going to be interesting to see how the church looked lit for television, as what the eye sees is completely different to what the camera sees.
It's an unusual act of worship, but I think it's an important one. The audience for the Watch Night service is 250,000. It's a privilege to be a very small part of a church service that has so many people watching. The reasons people are watching, well we don't know. Perhaps they can't get to their own church so late, perhaps they don't ever attend church, yet it wouldn't be Christmas without some of the old tunes. Whatever the reason, I pray they find it a spiritual experience.
The broadcast will be on the BBC at 11:20 (I think) on 24th December. If you are looking for me, I'm somewhere in the middle, standing next to Mrs Gerbil.
watch night live 5
Just heard an impromptu singing of Praise my soul the king of heaven. Actually very good.
watch night live 4
My feet are killing me! Much more respect for Choirs now. I didn't appreciate how much work singing is. Hopefully only one more hymn to go although I think the minister has a speaking part to come.
watch night live 2
First run through of the first hymn. Then another two takes for good measure.
Coughing is forbidden!
Coughing is forbidden!
Live Blogging from Watch Night
I'm at a recording for the BBC watch night service. The historic church interior is full of camera equipment,lights etc. One man is currently up a ladder adjusting a spotlight and is in danger of plummeting to his demise or burning his head on the next light over.
From all over Presbytery, people have dug out their festive jumpers.
More to follow...
From all over Presbytery, people have dug out their festive jumpers.
More to follow...
Monday, 9 December 2013
Hard Questions
"Why do we drink Jesus' blood?"
If you want to find a whole load of awkward questions, Primary Four is the place to find them. This was the first time I had sat in a primary four class, since primary four. Pamela, the Methodist Deacon invited me to take part in her morning assembly, with a couple of classes afterwards. There was a small issue when we discovered that neither the two of us had a lighter for the Advent candle. Back in my day, you could always rely on at least one of the pupils having a lighter, but these modern young 'uns seem to have kicked the weed habit.
The two classes were interesting, and while I felt I was basking in the glory of Pamela and Stephen, the children seemed willing to open up to me. They had seen me at the assembly the other week, so now they wave at me and say hello.
I'm still getting used to modern school culture, as you don't put your hand up to answer a question, instead you have "answering arms"where you fold your arms, while at the same time maintaining an expression of enthusiasm. The way they were bouncing up and down with folded arms, reminded me of a troop of Cossack dancers!
If you want to find a whole load of awkward questions, Primary Four is the place to find them. This was the first time I had sat in a primary four class, since primary four. Pamela, the Methodist Deacon invited me to take part in her morning assembly, with a couple of classes afterwards. There was a small issue when we discovered that neither the two of us had a lighter for the Advent candle. Back in my day, you could always rely on at least one of the pupils having a lighter, but these modern young 'uns seem to have kicked the weed habit.
The two classes were interesting, and while I felt I was basking in the glory of Pamela and Stephen, the children seemed willing to open up to me. They had seen me at the assembly the other week, so now they wave at me and say hello.
I'm still getting used to modern school culture, as you don't put your hand up to answer a question, instead you have "answering arms"where you fold your arms, while at the same time maintaining an expression of enthusiasm. The way they were bouncing up and down with folded arms, reminded me of a troop of Cossack dancers!
Thursday, 5 December 2013
Nelson Mandela
"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God."
Rest in peace Madiba.
Rest in peace Madiba.
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| Source: Glasgow City Council Libraries. |
Lap Dancing Discounts
My dear old Gran hits 100 next week, so today after having a brew with some local candidates, I went greetings card shopping.
I picked up a tasteful card, handed over my money and the card was handed back to me in a small plastic bag. Upon leaving the store I looked into the bag and as well as the tasteful card, I looked down upon a card depicting a dancer's bare arse.
WTF?
(Mrs G has pointed out that she was wearing a thong. I suppose that makes a difference.)
So I returned to the store, and the lady behind the counter told me she it was her other employer and she was told to put them in the bags. I dumped the cards on the counter but I wish I had kept them, if only for evidence.
I've been around, I've seen a lot, and I'm not much of a prude, and I'm aware that businesses have to engage in upselling to promote their business. But do they really think we are taking my Gran to a lap dancing bar for her hundredth?
I picked up a tasteful card, handed over my money and the card was handed back to me in a small plastic bag. Upon leaving the store I looked into the bag and as well as the tasteful card, I looked down upon a card depicting a dancer's bare arse.
WTF?
(Mrs G has pointed out that she was wearing a thong. I suppose that makes a difference.)
So I returned to the store, and the lady behind the counter told me she it was her other employer and she was told to put them in the bags. I dumped the cards on the counter but I wish I had kept them, if only for evidence.
I've been around, I've seen a lot, and I'm not much of a prude, and I'm aware that businesses have to engage in upselling to promote their business. But do they really think we are taking my Gran to a lap dancing bar for her hundredth?
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
Presbytery
If there was one good thing about Presbytery, it was my colleagues footwear. She had on the most amazing pair of purple tartan Doc Marten's. Sitting amongst a group of colleagues where our office wear is predominately either black (for pulpit, crematorium and graveside) or dark navy blue (school assemblies and hospital visits) it was a pleasant change to see something strikingly different.
The rest of the evening was spent rumbling feet in agreement with decisions and deliverances that had been made by sub-committees. I'm not a member of Presbytery, I'm just an observer, so I can't officially get involved in the debate. I don't even rumble my feet, which makes me feel like I'm abstaining or objecting. I hope nobody notices.
Perhaps this is just a quiet spell. Perhaps it would have been a bit more lively when Presbytery plans were being drawn up. Tonight was just a little too quiet. I'd hate to be involved in an assembly where nobody ever spoke. I would feel obliged to come out with an expressly controversial opinion, just to try to get some sort of debate going.
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy some shoes for next Presbytery.
The rest of the evening was spent rumbling feet in agreement with decisions and deliverances that had been made by sub-committees. I'm not a member of Presbytery, I'm just an observer, so I can't officially get involved in the debate. I don't even rumble my feet, which makes me feel like I'm abstaining or objecting. I hope nobody notices.
Perhaps this is just a quiet spell. Perhaps it would have been a bit more lively when Presbytery plans were being drawn up. Tonight was just a little too quiet. I'd hate to be involved in an assembly where nobody ever spoke. I would feel obliged to come out with an expressly controversial opinion, just to try to get some sort of debate going.
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy some shoes for next Presbytery.
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| Source: Wikipedia |
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Communion
I have a lovely white tablecloth. it comes out for special occasions, and it's enormous. It will cover our dining table completely, with a lot left over. We have to fold it in half, and then on top of that goes plates, bowls, glasses, cutlery etc. If anything is spilled, well we might give the cloth a soaking to prevent staining, but it's an accident, and it's a sign of a lovely meal. While we look after the good cloth, it's there to be used.
Today I had my first communion where I was behind the table - I was never an elder, although my Presbytery says I was... On top of the white cloth had been placed a plastic sheet, protecting the white tablecloth. It was as Stephen read the intimations that I noticed some marks on the plastic. There was an arrow pointing to the congregation, then some circles where the elements were to be placed. A space had been left for the lectern, but not much. In thinking about it, there was more space devoted to the two communion jugs, which were not used, or even filled, than for the Minister's notes.
I mentioned to Pamela, the Methodist Deacon that I preferred communion at her church, where we could all gather round the table, and there was a bit more spontaneity, although we agreed that isn't always possible due to large congregations and building layout. I'm just worried that there is a process that we must be seen to follow, without deviation. So are we taking part in a process or a sacramental commemoration?
Much to ponder...
Today I had my first communion where I was behind the table - I was never an elder, although my Presbytery says I was... On top of the white cloth had been placed a plastic sheet, protecting the white tablecloth. It was as Stephen read the intimations that I noticed some marks on the plastic. There was an arrow pointing to the congregation, then some circles where the elements were to be placed. A space had been left for the lectern, but not much. In thinking about it, there was more space devoted to the two communion jugs, which were not used, or even filled, than for the Minister's notes.
I mentioned to Pamela, the Methodist Deacon that I preferred communion at her church, where we could all gather round the table, and there was a bit more spontaneity, although we agreed that isn't always possible due to large congregations and building layout. I'm just worried that there is a process that we must be seen to follow, without deviation. So are we taking part in a process or a sacramental commemoration?
Much to ponder...
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