Thoughts On the subject of Christmas.

It's been and gone.  Sort of sorry to see it past.  But what happened...

Well there was the children's Christmas party to start with.  A couple of hours of feeding the wee folk sugar and artificial colouring, while the parents looked on.  It was a good fun gathering, and was surprisingly popular.  The kids had a good time, and I was impressed at the amount of Christmas jumpers that were on display.

Then, immediately after the party we had the Christingle service.  Now I had never been to one of these before, so my first time being at one was in giving the Christingle talk.  I had read up on them beforehand, and I will have to admit that I didn't like the idea of the whole service.  I know that we use illustrations and other visual clues to explain the message through the year, but there was something about the idea of the orange and the candle that felt a little forced to me.  Also, when we have a collecting basket for the foodbank in the hallway, I'm reluctant to use foodstuffs in a service if there's a chance it will go to waste.  I am in two minds about whether I would agree to be part of such a service again, although if it is something that brings people a little closer to the Christmas message, in a new and refreshing way, then it is a good thing.  Although for a couple of the children present, they would have been happy if we had just given them the candles and flames to play with.

Sunday there was a nativity play during the service.  Away in a manger is always cute when the children sing it.  Children were a little hyper, but they were enjoying the message, and the older folk liked seeing the younger members enjoying playing an active part in the service.  It's not a day for heavy theology, just simple messages in bite sized chunks that the children can enjoy.

At this point in the proceedings, both Mrs G and myself were nursing a pretty bad cold, so we were relying on cough sweets to get us through.  Watch Night was struggled through, and I mimed most of my singing, in order to preserve my voice.  Turnout was good, and there was a genuine Christmassy,feeling of expectation for Christmas morning.  It wasn't a large gathering, but it was a friendly, spiritual one.

After a token visit to my house to sleep, it was back out for Christmas morning.  Toys everywhere, and children running around was a sharp contrast to the slightly more formal service that this church is used to.  It made being heard a bit more challenging, but my voice survived.  Again, not a time for heavy weight theology in the message, but instead, a need to keep everyone interested.  Halfway through the lords prayer, my supervisor was interupted by "To infinity and beyond!" from the cheap seats.  Someone had brought their Buzz lightyear toy.  Awesome!

Then it was back to the house to flop.  Christmas made for a tiring couple of days, but at least it happened away from the weekend, where, had Christmas fallen on a Saturday, I would have had three days of worship to undertake.  This season has been an easy introduction to Christmas worship. 

In theory, the next time I encounter Christmas, I may be a real minister...

Sympathy

From the BBC. Link

Original text of the article below.

"'Worst Christmas ever'
... from Essex, said her 10-year-old son got an Xbox One for Christmas, and he and a friend had spent weeks planning what games they would play together online.

She said they had been downloading a game since 09:00 GMT - and by 23:40 it was still not ready.

"He has spent most of the day in tears," she said.

"He says it's been his worst Christmas ever.

"I think Xbox should compensate us all."

I'm finding it a little hard to be sympathetic here.  I can think of one or two people that are having a Christmas that may be a shade harder than toys not working.  Worst Christmas ever?  Compensation? 



For anyone else, here's some seasonal advice from Reddit that may be useful next year.


Merry Christmas.

Countdown to Christmas. 24th.

Countdown to Christmas 23rd.

Countdown to Christmas 22nd

Countdown to Christmas 21st

Countdown to Christmas 20th

Essential skills.

Today I discovered that, while not an essential requirement for Ministry, the knowledge of how to repair a trumpet valve is exceptionally useful.



This is why school assemblies and children's music recitals are so stressful.  A girl got up on stage to perform her trumpet recital.  We were willing her on to each note, but when her instrument failed her about four notes in, we just didn't want her to lose confidence, after all, it's a brave person that will stand up in front of the entire school plus parents and perform.  It wasn't the children that were stressed, but the adults on their behalf.

So, the music teacher (violinist), girl and myself (didgeridoo-ist)  retreated to the music room, to pool our shared trumpet knowledge to work out exactly what was going wrong. 

I don't play trumpet, nor have I ever played trumpet.  But I have done plumbing, and, at the end of the day, it's all just pipes.

So when the girl's trumpet had a valve that appeared to have rotated round in its body, it was a simple matter of applying plumbing principles to realign the airflow.  

To the relief of everyone present, the girl got back up on stage, and gave us a note perfect performance. 

And of course, it was worth going to hear the nursery sing "Away in a Manger."

Drunk Driving

A lady was having a moan today about the new drink driving limits.  She said that she would never have been over the old drink limit, because she only ever had one drink at the start of the night...  Then perhaps a couple more through the evening before driving home.  How was she supposed to enjoy a night out without a drink?


I didn't get a chance to have a word with her, as I had a service to take part in.  If you can't survive a night out without a drink in you, then it's probably a lousy night out anyway, and a drink won't improve things.

In the staffroom

It's nice to enter a school staffroom that doesn't smell of gin, and you can see the other side without peering through the fag smoke.  Since leaving Airside Primary in 1987, teachers seem to have got healthy all of a sudden. 

So I'm just in from a school assembly at one of the local primaries - I think there's three in the parish, plus a share of the secondary.  I wasn't doing anything today, just observing, but it was nice to be welcomed in as staff, rather than the token God slot. 

Next time, it's me taking part, front and centre.  At Christmas....  Should be fun!

Rumbled.

I've been found out, and I suppose it had to happen sooner or later...

My supervisor was updating the website for Bramblehill Church today to include a bit about me.  To add a bit of colour to the page, she did a Google image search for Ordained Local Ministry Church of Scotland, thinking that there would be a logo.   Instead, she found a picture of a gerbil - the original Spot the Gerbil, and wondered what that had to do with the CofS.


While this blog does stray off topic from time to time, there's nothing on here that I wouldn't share with my supervisor, or would be worried about them finding.  There are situations that I would never share on a public forum like this, and where they would be useful for reflective practice, they are kept on a word file somewhere on my pc.

I will still be blogging, and I hope to be a bit more regular than I have been over the summer.

And now that my supervisor has brought the idea up, should OLM's have their own logo or badge of office?

Lest we Forget

Vocations Conference part 2

Following the email from yesterday, I was asked about the education side of training. Again, I can only speak with regard to how the process has affected me. If in doubt, give the CofS a call.

*******************************************

First off, check with Ministries regarding the training. Depending on your existing qualifications, the training may vary, especially if you already have a theology or divinity degree.

You may wish to read page 29 of the OLM Candidates handbook. This relates to training. You will be expected to do the equivalent of first year university, spread over two years before ordination. I believe this should include Sacramental Theology, which I believe is actually a second year subject. This is why you need to discuss the academic part with Ministries, as you may still need a second year subject.

I’m currently with HTC, and their training overview is here. Their subject listing for the Certificate, Diploma and BA is on this page.

So my understanding is...

• Studying towards first year degree equivalent is mandatory pre-ordination. (Ask about whether you need Sacramental Theology. I believe the answer is yes.)

• Studying towards second year degree equivalent is expected after ordination.

• And now you have got this far, and because you enjoyed it, you might as well finish your degree by doing the third year.

• And then you can do honours....

Regarding the delivery of the classes, it uses something called Jabber, which is similar to Skype. Most PC’s from the past few years will run it fine. I don’t know what Aberdeen uses. You can either attend class virtually, or download it for watching later. The delivery of the course is something you need to discuss with HTC/Aberdeen.

Your studies run alongside your placements, but the actual arrangements vary from person to person. Ministries council will advise. I have found the study challenging, but certainly worthwhile.

If you are near Glasgow or Edinburgh, look into Sconul Access which allows you to take out books from theological universities near to you. There are plenty of books available through HTC’s online library, but I like going to a “real” library.

Spot

Vocations Conference Church of Scotland

Last Saturday, on the first day of my probation, I attended another Vocations conference.  This time I attended to help out, rather than listen, and it was a really good day.  Thanks to Linlithgow St Michaels for putting us up for the day.

Vocations conferences are the first stage in training for any of the Ministries within the Church of Scotland.  This one was well attended, and I know there are people this week who have contacted or are thinking about contacting Ministries Council to take the next step. 

After the conference, I noticed traffic on this blog increase.  The first post from my own Vocation conference (they were called Enquirers Conferences then.) is to be found here.

After the conference, one of the attendeed emailed me for more information.  What follows is the edited highlights of an exchange of emails.  Names, places etc deleted.

If you are thinking about any role within the Church of Scotland, contact them first and they will advise.  My advice may not be the current practice.

******************************

I’m not a member of Ministries Council staff, so I can only speak about the process as it has affected me.  The process has changed a little since I started, but the main things remain unchanged.  The first thing you need to do is email Ministries Council through vocation@cofscotland.org.uk and ask for the application pack.  Once you return that, Ministries Council will organise with Healthlink360 to set up the interviews that will decide whether or not you proceed to the next stages of the process, namely the Period of Discernment, the Local Review and the National Assessment Conference.

Ministries council will help you if you have any questions about the steps that you have to follow. They are often pretty busy, especially so after conferences, so please bear with them! There are some other things that are worth considering as well.  The first speaker at the conference spoke about being able to express your call.  If your best friend asked you why you are doing this, how would you explain it to them?  Why do you feel that God is calling you to serve in His church?  What made you come to this decision?  Do you need to be an Ordained Minister to serve God?  One of the questions I was asked at the National Assessment Conference was about the other forms of ministry.  Why are you not called to be a Reader, a full time Minister or a Deacon.  Be prepared to express why the other ministries aren't for you.  This is not to say that the other ministries are less of a vocation, but they each suit a particular type of person.

You are also likely to be asked about how you feel about the ordination of women.  The Church of Scotland has been ordaining women since the 1960’s.  If your theology disagrees with the ordination of women, then the CofS may not be for you.  You may be asked about infant baptism, and this is also something that we do that some churches will not.  They are not looking for a deep theological argument, just an assurance that your beliefs don’t run contrary to the theology of the Church.

If you have any OLM's working in your own or neighbouring presbyteries, it might also be worth making contact with them, and discussing their role.

There are some books that people often get suggested to read as trainee ministers.   Called or Collared by Francis Dewar is one that springs to mind.  It’s written from a Church of England perspective, but the sense of calling is the same.  This website explains a call to ministry, and the steps they went through. Here’s another.  There are a few more ministry blogs out there, from any number of denominations.  

I know this may be obvious, but have you talked this through with your family?  It may be your call, but it’s a whole lot harder if you don’t have a family that understands what you are doing.  Whatever happens, you will be devoting a lot of your time to training and your eventual Ministry, and if you are married, your wife will become a Minister’s wife, whether she wants to or not.  Sundays will never be your own again, and as you train, you will be spending time studying, preparing for worship, or attending and observing church life, more often than not on weeknights between 7.30 and 10.00 pm.  You will have a couple of conferences a year, plus whatever duties you are expected to carry out as part of your placements.

Also, have you spoken to your own minister.  At some point they will be asked for a reference, but it’s good to chat with them about their sense of call.

If you are in doubt about whether you are able to study, because I know I had my doubts, you may wish to sign up to Aberdeen Uni or Highland Theological College to sit one module.  If you qualify for an ILA Scotland grant, the fees may be covered.  If you pass the module, you can count it towards your Certificate, Diploma, or if you go all the way, your degree.  The CofS will fund your course, but only once you have been accepted at the Assessment conference.

Journaling.  I am no diarist, and the thought of putting my thoughts onto paper scared me.  However I have actually found it useful to have something to look back on, and it’s a good habit to be in.  We are supposed to be “reflective practitioners”, whatever that means, so the journal has certainly helped me reflect on where I have been.  It shouldn’t take you long, and most people just use a Word document and write it up a couple of times a week.  There’s guidance available from Ministries Council on journaling, which may even be in your application pack.

The final thing I have to say is that the discernment process is about you exploring your call.  You may get halfway through and you decide that OLM or any form of ministry just isn’t for you, and that God was calling you in another direction. There is absolutely no shame in withdrawing or changing to another form of ministry.  Again, Ministries Council will help you whatever you decide.

Sorry that has been a wall of text, and I am happy to answer any future questions.  Whatever you decide to do, I pray that you are blessed by God on your journey.

Kind regards,

Spot

Part 2 to follow tomorrow...

Probation

I'm a Probationer Ordained Local Minister.

How did that happen?

Friends in High Places

It's been a busy week for ordinations and inductions in the C of S.  If your 15 month probation starts in the summer, then October and November is the busy season for those who want to be in charge before Christmas.  I can think of at least four in the past fortnight or so.  Some more preaching as sole niminees, and there are other nominating committees roaming the countryside as we speak.

2010, a long time ago, or so it seems now, I tagged along to a meeting of some church candidates.  I hadn't thrown my hat into the ring at that point, so I was still wondering exactly what a male spouse of a minister gets up to.  One of these people had been studying and training for a couple of years, and despite never having met them before, I knew them.


I had been following their blog for a while, so while the rest of the group were in the house discussing degrees and training, we were in the garden, and I made introductions, as two bloggers meeting in the real world.

Since that day, I am proud to have been able to call them a friend.  They have supported me throughout my call and training, and I hope that in some way I have managed to reciprocate.

It's unfortunate now that we will find ourselves at opposite ends of the country, so we can't sneak off to the national library for a quick brew (or a photo-shoot!) as easily anymore. 

But it was an honour to be present at their ordination, and was quite surprising to be mentioned if not in person, at least by reference to my motorbike, in their ordination sermon.

So here's some sagely wisdom from their first blog post that my friend may need reminded of...

"Dog collars strangle you if you tell lies."

Now may God give you the power to do outrageous things.

P.S. You WILL ensure you take time off.

P.P.S. Every manse needs a dog.

Search and Rescue

My friend, Rev Shuna from Aberlour asked me to share this message, and I would encourage you to fill in the petition.

Dear Friends,

I just created the petition "Keep the Mediterranean Search & Rescue" and wanted to ask if you could add your name too. I was moved to tears watching the news last night that the EU are to scale back the search and rescue missions in the Med for asylum seekers fleeing North Africa. In effect hundreds are being left to die - men, women, children and babies. Please see this report:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-29807759 Our Government supports the scale back.

I do not normally circulate petitions but this cause is dear to me heart as I am a speaker for the Church of Scotland Guild's project Out of Africa...into Malta which seeks to support asylum seekers and immigrants in Malta, many of whom arrive n these boats.

This campaign means a lot to me and the more support we can get behind it, the better chance we have of succeeding. You can read more and sign the petition here:

https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/keep-the-mediterranean-search-rescue

Thank you!

Shuna

P.S. Can you also take a moment to share the petition with others? It's really easy – all you need to do is forward this email or share this link on Facebook or Twitter:

https://you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/keep-the-mediterranean-search-rescue

Rev Shuna Dicks
Aberlour Parish Church of Scotland
SC001336

An Odd Night in the Pulpit

I had been asked to preach at a short service in what I thought was a small church.  It should have been a very short lesson, and I was expecting to do all of it, or about 10 minutes.

Then I got to the church.  It was massive.  Easily the biggest building I have ever spoken in.  And the service had morphed from a quick ten minutes, to a full collaboration with a number of different speakers.  The minister that asked me to speak had neglected to mention this fact.  And of course the church was full to bursting.

And with this being a bit of a posh do, I was told by the minister that my suit wasn't good enough, so I had to round up a set of robes from somewhere.  Fortunately the choir were able to help out.

When the service started, someone got up and did the call to worship that I was supposed to be doing.  I was a bit annoyed, but you have to keep a professional air, so I said nothing.

Finally, I got up to deliver my sermon, which I had hurriedly re-written to reflect the theme of the day.  As I got into the pulpit, I realised that the lectern wasn't adjustable, and the previous occupant must have been nine foot tall.  I barely stuck out over the top.

I placed my notes on the lectern, looked out at the congregation, then looked back down.  My carefully prepared notes had been replaced with a collection of wine-gums, with the sermon written on top of them.

So then I woke up.

When I eventually got back to sleep.  I had another dream where one of my probationed buddies took me to one side and told me that my delivery wasn't great.  I hope they get afflicted by their sermon turning into wine-gums.

Pastafarianism

Spaghetti and marshmallows. A non-typical YF night.

 

Heckled

Unity.

Pretty good theme for a service this weekend.  We split the service, with the Associate Minister doing the sermon, while I did the prayers and insight.  Insight, for the uninitiated, is an introductory thought to the service.  A sort of substitute children's address for those occasions where there are no children.

Early on in the week, the AM and I exchanged emails regarding the service, and I suggested that, there were things that were a problem before the referendum that were still a problem after it.  It is only through us pulling together that we will be able to try to make a difference.  It was an idea I had the other week regarding the stories that have fallen out of the news, or have been obscured by bigger stories.  Perhaps we should devote some of our prayers of intercession to the stories from the newspapers from three months ago. So there are still people going hungry and relying on foodbanks.  There are also the problems of people being homeless, or being affected by the bedroom tax.  And on an international level, the Ebola crisis hasn't gone away.  It is only...

"BUT THIS IS SCOTLAND!"

...through working together...  wait, what?!?!?  Someone in the middle of the congregation has taken exception to me mentioning international affairs. And she took exception loudly.  I can't remember exactly what I said afterwards, but it was along the lines of, yes, this is Scotland, and the people of scotland have always worked to help those in need at home or abroad.  Perhaps I should have ignored it, but the hair trigger in me went off.  Besides, she was loud enough that everyone in the congregation must have heard.  I certainly heard her from at least 5 metres away.

This morning I was using my notes as a guide only.  I was being conversational, rather than scripted, and she threw me right off.  From what was a good and flowing delivery, she threw me enough that I had to resort to reading the rest of my script directly from my notes.  I was exceptionally angry.

I don't do this stuff for my benefit.  I genuinely want to help bring people closer to God.  I have had a few weeks recently where the topics haven't really spoken to me and I have struggled. While I certainly don't spend all week writing sermons, I'm certainly thinking about it for most of the week, bouncing around thoughts before they hit the page.   But I still want to try to get up there and make a difference. 

I came very close to leaving halfway through the service, once my bit was complete, but it was only because I wanted to hear what the AM had to say that I stayed. 

I was so annoyed that I went out for a cycle in the afternoon to clear my head.  30 miles later and I was starting to feel almost human.

I don't object to people objecting to my sermons.  Most of them have the good courtesy to let me know after the service where they object.  I have had some pretty good conversations as a result. Heckling makes you look like you are in a comedy club, and you have had a glass too many.

261 children

There's 261 Nigerian children still missing that were abducted in mid April.  Their only "crime" was to have the audacity to believe that they were entitled to an education.  Boko Haram begs to differ.


That was the part of the message yesterday that I felt I was really being lead towards speaking.  The rest felt like 59 minutes of padding.  It was just one of those weeks where the sermon I was planning on giving took a sudden change in direction at a point in the week where it was just far too late to do anything about it.  So as a result, it felt a bit disjointed, or somehow lacking.

I don't think it was a bad service, but it was just too far into the week for me to change everything and start again.  I'm not yet confident enough to go completely off script and just wing it.  Perhaps next time.

Ice Bucket Challenge

If you haven't heard of the ice bucket challenge, go off and have a Google moment.  We will wait here...

Has anyone commented yet, how nice it is to have clean fresh water poured over your head?  783 million people do not have access to clean water, and 2.5 billion do not have access to sanitation.*

Do the ice water challenge with the sort of water that those 783 million are forced to drink, and it's not as much fun. 

Why not give Oxfam a visit?  Buy them a drink.

With thanks to one of my trainee colleagues for the idea.


*source UN.

Fasting and Ramadan

One of my colleagues was up at the crack of dawn today.  She prepared the worlds supply of samosas and pakora before bringing them into work for sale in aid of Muslim Aid.  They tasted so good, that she almost convinced me that vegetables might not be all that bad.

Cooking always gives me the munchies, so I have a lot of respect for her in that she was observing a fast, yet still prepared enough food to keep a portion of the Civil Service snacking until well into the afternoon.

So rather than making a big song and dance about giving up chocolate for Lent, should we try to do more in our period of fasting.  Would we be better people for engaging in acts of charity, while at the same time undergoing a reflective period?

I've got a few months to think about it.

Pulpit Supply

My supervisor has made it clear that I must take time off from placement.  He never said what I had to do with those days, so the other day I did a bit of pulpit supply for a friend. 

This was a strange experience, because all the other times I have undertaken pulpit supply in the past, I have at least visited the building at least once before, or have tried to get along and see a service there.  This time I went into the encounter completely blind. 

The two churches were located about 10 miles apart, and the time between the two services, allowing for an hours worth of service was only 15 minutes.  I arrived early at the first service so I had time to meet the organist, discuss hymns etc.  As people filtered into the church, I exchanged pleasantries with some of them, but I wasn’t able to get round all of them and say hello in person.  After the service, I had to hand over my microphone and make a fast departure to the second church.  I didn’t even have time for a handshake on the door.  With it being the summer holidays, I didn’t have a children’s address, and there was no choir, but I was aware that my service had to finish in absolutely no more than an hour.  The first service just felt a little constrained, and I missed the pastoral element of being able to meet with people afterwards.  And while there appeared to be a tray of tea and biscuits laid out, I certainly had no time to join in.

I arrived in time for the second service, aware that all it would have taken was a tailback on the major road I had to use, for the second service to be delayed.  I had time to come in, find the radio mic, and have a word with the organist about incidental music, before I had to start over again.  I felt a little less restricted in the second service, and was able to take things a little slower.  I did have time afterwards to meet people at the door, but there was no cup of tea, so contact with people was limited to the most basic of pleasantries.  They all seemed like nice folk.

There was an element of a rock tour about the services.  Turn up, do your thing on stage, and then “Elvis has left the building” without meeting the public.  I was there to do pulpit supply, and I see part of that role as to be there to talk and to listen to anyone who has issues they want to share.  So while I think I did OK with my speaking part, I may have unavoidably let the congregation down with the listening part.

Placement so far.

This might come over as a bit of a moan.  Yes, I am enjoying my placement, and my supervisor is very good.  I think it is just the comparison with my last placement that makes this seem a little frustrating.  Last time I was unemployed through the whole length of my placement, so there was a lot more I could drop in on.  This time, I have a 9-5 job, so the only things I have been able to encounter have been those which take place in the evening or weekend.  It’s the holiday club this week, and there are daytime services, and team meetings which I can’t get involved in.

So I am learning about the dark arts of team ministry, but I am not as able to immerse myself in congregational life as I was on my first placement.  I don’t want to get to the end of October, when I have probation lined up, and be told that I haven’t done enough.

This brings up a bigger question.  Is the Ordained Local Ministry a ministry that is suitable only for those who are unemployed, retired, or can work strange shifts while training?  Or even after training?  

There is a considerable commitment required in order to become an OLM, including an expected 20 hours study each week per unit studied (typically two units per term), three hours per week plus a Sunday and all this over and above the need to hold down a job.  You need to be a strong time manager in order to ensure you maintain a healthy work/life balance. 

Two Forty Over One Twenty part two

See yesterday...

I know the side effects leaflet for drugs can make grim reading. For example, many headache remedies may cause headaches.

My blood pressure pills may cause constipation and diarrhea.

Constipation and diarrhea.

Simultaneously?

In a dark sort of way, this could be interesting.

Two Forty Over One Twenty

I am still sucking air.  This is a good thing.

On Thursday night I stopped being able to suck air.  This was a bad thing.

One am and I went upstairs to bed.  Until this point I had been feeling absolutely fine.  No signs of impending doom.  And the stairs I climbed were not like the north face of the Eiger.  They were just like the stairs you climb to your bed.  Fourteen of them, rising eight or so inches per riser.  For someone who is thirty-eight and a bit, this is not something you or I would break a sweat over.

I performed my regular nightly ritual of reclaiming the duvet from Mrs Gerbil, lay down and stopped breathing.

fuck.

I had absolutely no will to breathe on my own.  I really had to force myself to suck air in.  I realised that sleeping at this time may have some pretty bad consequences. 

I sat up.  Going downstairs, breathing returned to something approaching normal, especially when sitting down.  I sat for ten minutes or so, then returned up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, lay down and couldn't breathe again.  Imagine the feeling of being tickled to the point of being unable to breathe, without the enjoyable wrestling beforehand.  I just wasn't prepared to suck air without a pretty concerted effort on my part.

So that's the point that I woke Mrs G up.

Then we phoned the NHS. for a bit of advice.


They sent an ambulance, without me even asking for one.

And then two student ambulance workers saw some numbers on my blood pressure reading that made them wince.  The ambulance that had three on board when it arrived, left with four.

I arrived in casualty, was poked and prodded, before being relocated round the corner to "Somewhere Better." "Somewhere Better" turned out to be Resuscitation, where the wall behind me was adorned with the sort of medical kit that only gets used on you if the shit has seriously hit your fan.  They wouldn't even let me walk there, in fact the two nurses seemed to go a little pale when I made the suggestion.

The rest of the night was spent with my feet hanging off the end of an A&E trolley, wired to a machine that took a hissy fit every time an electrode fell from my chest.  Medical tape just does not stick to my skin, except where there is hair, then it sticks better than Evo-stik and removes hair better than waxing.

In the morning I was moved to "Somewhere Better", which turned out to be the Cardiac unit.  Amongst many questions, I was asked my mobile phone number (07777 777777) My wifes mobile number (07777 666666) and my Doctor ("They never gave me their mobile number..." "No Sir, just the name of the doctors surgery."   "Oh...  Sorry... "  (I'm not at my sharpest at that time.)  Best question of all, "Have your bowels moved recently?"  What's the answer to that?  "Yes, but they left a forwarding address..."

So for the rest of the day I was poked and prodded.  I have seen my heart on ultrasound.  I have met the hospital chaplain, and we talked pastoral care.  I even met Mrs G's new supervisor who was in visiting.

So it turns out I have blood pressure that is high enough to be measured in pounds per square inch.  240 over 120.  I now have some drugs to take, and a letter that is to go to my GP.  And they still don't know if the breathing thing is related.  Yet had it not been for the breathing problems, I wouldn't have known about the blood pressure.

While I am a little overweight, I never feel unwell.  No headaches, no strange symptoms.  Nothing.  So that is why you need to get your blood pressure checked this week.

Missing the Point.

MP criticises Oxfam for its recent poverty campaign. Cite
An MP, regardless of the flavour, shouldn't be shocked at the fact that a charity condemns Government policy for causing poverty.  Our MPs should be disgusted by the fact that enough meals were given out by food banks last year to feed a third of the UK population. 

That's shocking.

That's worth condemning.

Go Oxfam.

Welcome to the Party

I am pleased to say that a good friend of mine has been accepted to train as an ordained Local Minister. 

Your journey (with its accompanying tsunami of paperwork :-)  ) continues, and I hope you are blessed with an interesting, challenging and worthwhile road ahead.

With every blessing,

Spot.

How to Advance by Retreating

It's just the way that things have worked out that I have arrived at Lochside Church in time to go away on a retreat day with the Pastoral Care Team.  So by way of getting to know the team, my timing has been perfect.  We took a short trip down the A9 to The Bield where we spent some of the day using their facilities, and the remainder having a training session on the dark art that is pastoral care.

There was, a bit over an hour, where we could go off and use the facilities on site for quiet reflection.  The gardens are lovely, with bits of art placed here and there to reflect upon.  There is a labyrinth, carefully cut into the grass.  A flock (is that a brood?) of chickens patrols the grounds.  In one barn there is an art workshop with a couple of potters wheels.  There is even a swimming pool.

This was a bit of the day that I actually found hard.  If I want to reflect, then I am better off going off on my own.  I don't want to share my thoughts, and I don't want to hear anyone else.  And I certainly don't want to disturb anyone else who is happy in their space.  So I went off for a walk, trying my best to avoid anyone else that was visiting that day, for fear that I might interupt them.

(It was only in reading the notes for the centre today that I realised that the bowl of ceramic leaf badges that were in a basket were in actual fact a sign that someone was on silent retreat, and not to disturb them.  I hope I didn't acknowledge someones presence and ruin their stay. Were they a sign to "leaf" well alone?)

So I did manage a pleasant reflective walk, managing to avoid everyone, and I was happy with my thoughts.  I spent some time watching the bee hives* before wandering round for a very pleasant lunch.  I think I can manage the quiet part, I'm just not very good at working out what to do to be reflective.

* The metaphor for bees came up later in the day regarding the day spent learning pastoral care.  Like the bee storing honey, we were storing up skills and knowledge that may be used for the time when we need to call upon our reserves to help the community.**

**  Although another image of bees came to mind, where the bee works its backside off all summer making the honey, but along comes the beekeeper to take away the fruits of  the bees labours and gives the bee nothing in return.  Up the workers!

Starting Over

Perhaps I'm in the wrong type job if I don't like change.

My second placement started today, the not quite immediate follow-on from my first.  I have met with my new supervisor twice now, once while we decide if we can work together, and the second time as we discussed officially the placement to come.

It's the first day of any placement that I really can't be arsed with.  I have spent the last six months making connections at Lowry (North) and now I have to start off again.  The fact that I can't remember names or faces really makes this awkward.  In the hall there is a picture of all the office bearers, so this will be my source of reference, and on a Sunday I can rely on many people wearing name badges.

So I went into the first church where I was warmly welcomed.  Some of the people on the door remembered me from when I checked out the church the week before.  Others knew there was a student coming, but didn't know what I looked like.

Worship is completely different from my previous experience, one of the reasons I picked this particular church.  The other reason was that there was nobody closer that could take me.

There is a lot to keep me busy, although this placement, I fear that I am going to have to work placement around work.  At least this will make it more like working as an OLM, having to balance work with ministry.

So it was an interesting first day, but I know that it will be weeks, perhaps months before I know the dynamics of the church.