I had been asked to preach at a short service in what I thought was a small church. It should have been a very short lesson, and I was expecting to do all of it, or about 10 minutes.
Then I got to the church. It was massive. Easily the biggest building I have ever spoken in. And the service had morphed from a quick ten minutes, to a full collaboration with a number of different speakers. The minister that asked me to speak had neglected to mention this fact. And of course the church was full to bursting.
And with this being a bit of a posh do, I was told by the minister that my suit wasn't good enough, so I had to round up a set of robes from somewhere. Fortunately the choir were able to help out.
When the service started, someone got up and did the call to worship that I was supposed to be doing. I was a bit annoyed, but you have to keep a professional air, so I said nothing.
Finally, I got up to deliver my sermon, which I had hurriedly re-written to reflect the theme of the day. As I got into the pulpit, I realised that the lectern wasn't adjustable, and the previous occupant must have been nine foot tall. I barely stuck out over the top.
I placed my notes on the lectern, looked out at the congregation, then looked back down. My carefully prepared notes had been replaced with a collection of wine-gums, with the sermon written on top of them.
So then I woke up.
When I eventually got back to sleep. I had another dream where one of my probationed buddies took me to one side and told me that my delivery wasn't great. I hope they get afflicted by their sermon turning into wine-gums.
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