My time

Before I go on, I am grateful to everyone from all the churches I visit for their kind support. 

One of the things that I'm aware of is that going to church will never really be the same again. 

I have connections, one way or another with three churches.  First there's my placement church, Hillside, then there's Eagleside, and finally there's my home church.  Whichever church I visit, I have to spend a lot of time explaining what I'm up to, and how Mrs G is doing.  They are all lovely, caring people, and I'm blessed to have their support, but I feel of late I'm missing out on the whole worship thing. I like to sit down in a church, have a short pause before the service to clear my thoughts, listen to the service and generally clear my head.  But as soon as I get to a state of reflective calm, someone, someone caring and concerned and genuinely lovely, comes over and asks me how I'm getting on or how Mrs Gerbil is doing.  They are asking because they care, and I would never hurt their feelings by hunting them.  But they have still ruined my nice reflective state. 

Even before I started the enquiry thing, I would be unable to truly switch off, because I'd be keeping one eye on the projector and another on the mixing/recording equipment in case that let us down. 

Recently I've started going to a service. And for me it's great because nobody knows me at all.  I can walk in almost unacknowledged, can sit down and I can get as reflective as I want.  It's just me, and wherever the Spirit wants to take me.  The service is short, but it's absolutely perfect, and I come away more refreshed than on many a Sunday morning.  I know that community forms a strong part of church life, but this particular church will never know how much good they are doing me by just letting me have my space and get my head in order.  So I'm sorry for being all take and no give.


In fact, I think I'm so anti-social that I don't even like my own company...