Local review

If you are reading this on 27th March between 7 and 8pm, I am at my local review.

I will post the result by the end of the week

Prayers requested

Wave your hands in the air

As part of the service on Sunday I was to do a blessing for the children.  The children's address is followed by a hymn, then a blessing.  And it seems the norm that people, when they do a blessing raise a hand in the air.

Well I'm pretty new to this whole thing, and there's still a lot I've to think about, but I'm not exactly happy with the hands in the air for a blessing.

I believe that, wherever we go, God's Spirit is all around us, supporting us and involved.  When I'm asking for a blessing for an individual, a group, or the entire congregation, raising a hand over the assembled makes it look, to me at least that the minister is not just asking for a blessing, but instead is actively channelling the Spirit through them.  I'm not altogether happy with this, as I feel that it's suggesting that I'm better than anyone else and that you're only getting blessed because the Spirit is being channelled, rather than being ever with us.

The bottom line is that I'm trying to do God's work, possibly not very well, so at this stage I'm happier looking like Columbo.  Bumbling along, but occasionally pulling out moments of genius.  I've not got a direct hotline to God, and I'm not some spiritual transponder, receiving and repeating the direct word of God.  It's just me doing the best I can.

So for the moment, the hands will stay firmly by the side.

Ooops

If you are going to fluff your lines, do it with style.  If you are going to forget your lines, forget something important.

I had the first part of the service today.  A brief hello, a few words for approach, introduce the first hymn, another prayer, some words for the children, another hymn, a short blessing for the children, before Kathryn took over for the remainder.  Easy.

It was going so well.  I had a few words of prayer, then led into the Lord's Prayer.  Those words that everyone knows.  Those words that we used to say at the start  of classes from primary one to seven.  Yes, when I wrote out my script, I missed out an entire line, and if it hadn't been for about 80 people joining in, our debts and our debtors wouldn't be getting forgiven this week.  At least to the listening audience, they probably think I've just fluffed a line. 

But still.  I thought it was going so well...

After that, the children's address went really well.  Until we got to the end, when I announced the next hymn.  "And now let us sing together hymn 251, I the Lord of Sea and Sky..."  and there was a short pause as I gathered my props from the children's address.....  A pause that got longer and longer...  Then I realised that the organist probaby hadn't heard me.  So another thing I need to learn is to make my directions to the organist clear and precise, as they are often going to be tucked away in an onscure corner of the church and may not hear me.

After all that, I decided that today was a good day to go out with the Sunday School, and made my departure after the blessing.

So I'm happy doing bits of the service, but I need to work on the stagecraft.

And I'm getting the Lords Prayer tattooed on my fore-arm.  (Along with Leviticus 19:28)

Learning Before Training

I don't think I've mentioned this before...

As part of my Ordained Local Ministry enquiry process, I decided that I wanted to do some sort of distance learning module to make sure I had a head for academia.  While I have been in New College for a brew before, my strategy of learning through absorption wasn't quite working.  My theory was that if I can't do one module, then I'm going to be scunnered when it comes to doing the course I'm expected to do should I be accepted.

In January, with the assistance of an ILA Scotland grant I started on a module on the Early Church through Aberdeen University.  While it does seem a little weird engaging in a conference call, the course has been going OK so far.  Advice to students on this sort of course is to get yourself a phone that has a speakerphone.  It makes it easier to take notes, spread out books etc and they will set you back less than £20.  My formative assessments have had reasonable feedback, but I was waiting on results for my first  real assessment.

At school I scraped my way to three highers, although I did achieve an HND about 15 years ago.  On past performance, anything above half marks would have been nice.  I was surprised to get 17/20, with feedback suggesting that there were a couple of areas marked in the 18-20 bracket, and nothing lower than 15.  Not bad for an essay that referenced The Life of Brian in the opening paragraph.  Well, the question did centre on the readiness of the 1st century world for Christianity, and you have to ask yourself what have the Romans ever done for us?

So I'm happy.

Baptism

I appreciate that not everyone has a church connection, but if you are here for the baptism of your friend's child, please sit down, switch your phone off and shut the frack up.  Show a bit of respect, if only for the beliefs of your friend - at the very least because you are getting your lunch, plus probably a lot of beer out of them this afternoon.

Compliments to the child, however.  The infant managed to throw up, loudly fart, follow through and start screaming just at the point that the family gathered round the font.

Child, welcome to the family of the church.  You'll go far.

The beginning of the end of the beginning

Tonight was my last meeting with Kathryn, before I have my local review meeting. She seemed positive about how I'm getting on, and mentioned that she had positive comment about the sermon I did the other week. Looking back, I'm a whole lot happier at this end of the enquiry process than when I started.

So in a fortnight I'll know if I'm joining my fellow OLM trainees at the selection conference.

Thy will be done, etc...

Fear of the Pulpit

Somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, the thought occasionally passes that I shouldn't be speaking from the pulpit as that's where the qualified ministry types get to stand.  I don't have my pilot licence, so they don't let me into the cockpit (which is a shame, because I'd love to take an A380 under the Forth Bridges.  Oh Go on, I'd have 80 feet to spare.) so why should I get to stand in the "Hot Seat"? 

Most churches, the better designed ones anyway, are built in such a way that the speaker can see, everyone in the church, and everyone in the church can see and hear the speaker.  As fas as I am concerned then, the pulpit is the best possible place to speak from.  So it's up there I go, happy that for once I'm doing something right, if only for Mrs H.  Mrs H asks that speakers stand in the pulpit, because those that are hard of hearing can hear them better.  And if it comes from Mrs H, it must be true.

This morning I have a bit of a problem.  I've done something stupid to my back, and the thought of ascending the stairs to the pulpit gives me the willies.  I can't get up my own stairs just now without swearing.  In about two hours time I'm doing the sermon at Hillside.  With a radio mic.

Well they might learn a few new words...

Or I'll speak from the lectern.  It's safer...

For everyone...